New treatment, Same disease

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: All the Lonely People
Based off real events.

Submitted: December 11, 2015

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Submitted: December 11, 2015

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Labby: Ok, so, my sister is going into a hospital for a few weeks to get her anorexia treated. She Might not be back for Christmas. She told me once, that no matter what they try, it only makes her worse. So I'm sad. And angry. And depressed. And so, I'm doing the only thing I can do. Write. An experiance I had with my own 'doctors' when they still thought they could do anything about my several anxiety problems and trust issues. Heh. They just made them WORSE.

A new day, a new injection. Or pill. Or medicine. Anything painful, uncomfortable or bitter. Anything to make me squirm. And still, it does nothing. It's not just my head, it's my soul. It's been damaged far too long for them to do anything about it. So why do they try?

I don't think they know. I don't think any of those supposed 'doctors' have ever been afraid like I am. Every day of my life, feeling like I'm being chased. You can't truely trust anyone, not even yourself, because people lie and cheat and steal. No matter what, we're all selfish and greedy on the inside.

Like those doctors. I could practically SMELL the fear on them. They were afraid of me? Of course. Yasmin.

It's so, SO easy to lie to someone. That's what I've learnt. You finally get used to everything being ok, and then it gets destroyed. And then you have to lie. Lie about who you are. What you feel. And that's ok. Because as long as they're safe, you don't need to be happy.

And I've never been completely happy.

What did I say? We're all selfish. Don't think I was leaving me out.

Yes, I have a WAY better life than some other people and yet I'm never happy. never happy with the upper-middle class life I live in. Oh yeah. That's so AWFUL.

You can be worried about me. Yep, it's probably best that you were. Let's count all of the bad things that have happened to me over the past year:

I broke my hip bone
I've gotten almost poisoned by doctors
My brother ended up in hospital trying to protect me
The FIGHT (You know the one I mean)
I got harassed by a man named James
My mum and dad got divorced
My sister almost succeeded in killing herself
I found out that Whiskey Charlie had cancer
I found out my big brother had cancer
Daniel died. (R.I.P)
Another fight.
My big sister being taken away by doctors who I'm all too familiar with.

And the world might as well kill me now.

I'm not going to last long anyway.

Look, I'm not going to kill myself. But it won't be long before whatever force above me does.

And I can't help feeling alone.

But I'm not. I have my family. My friends. Adil. All of y'all. Yasmin. Panda. Willow.

But in my soul room, I cry alone.


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