Brainwash the Children

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a satire I wrote in my English class. It addresses the current state of America's education system.

Submitted: November 20, 2016

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Submitted: November 20, 2016



My dear Sir:

It has just recently come to the school board’s and my attention that unforeseen issues have come up due to the implementation of the plans you and I had come up with earlier this month. The school board has proceeded with increasing the number of standardized tests our students have had to take, and have structured homework and the like so that even less critical thinking is required than previously. The drop in interest and grades is quite satisfying.

Despite this remarkable achievement, there has been quite a bit of trouble with a certain few students. Recently, one of the art classes did a project in which they all designed posters, and the subjects of these posters were subjects such as pollution, global warming, religion, politics, and other serious things like that. Of course, the board did not approve the vast majority of theses - 30 total - and I’m sure you can guess why; we did not want other students seeing these and being prompted to think about such grave issues.

All was quite well with this for quite some time, but this past week, the staff have found provocative posters all over the school - provocative in the sense that they protested our fine school’s efforts to brainwash the ignorant maggots we call our students. Several of the posters exhibited me, the principle, in Natzi garb, a Swastica covering the background. There were others depicting adults with televisions for heads, and they had standardized test scores on their screens.

Needless to say, these posters were taken down as soon as they were discovered, but there were so many that we were unable to keep students from seeing them. The number of posters found throughout the school, and I regret to say that a number of the teachers have joined this ignoble cause, putting up these and similar posters in their classrooms.

Just two days ago a remarkably ignorant student told the board that a small group of students had banned together to secretly promote, create, and display these posters. Of course we went to intervene and punish the students, but they also somehow found out we knew of their meeting, and were nowhere to be found when we arrived. However, they did spray paint a Swastika onto the gym floor, and it covered almost the entire center of the court.

We have, in these past weeks, held multiple seminars for all grades, telling them to ignore these posters and that they are senseless propaganda. We have assigned detentions to any students who look at the posters, and have made posters of our own, which say things like, “Good grades define your future,” and “Success is dictated by your conformity.” Yet we have found these to be spray painted over with even more bright red Swastikas.

My dear sir, I implore you to assist us. I am aware that you are a busy politician, but if you can send an associate to help us in disbanding this rebellious group. We are in dire need of your counsel.


Most sincerely,

Principle Benito


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