Submitted: April 02, 2009
© Copyright 2023 Lady Elizabeth. All rights reserved.
Comments
That's exactly how I feel when school becomes more stressful, I like how you put it into words. :]
Sat, April 4th, 2009 8:59pmI wrote a piece way back when I was in college and felt similar feelings. I was burnt out and weary of the grind the school year offered. Obviously, I made it through...same as you.
However, as I read through your lines on this poem, I couldn't help but begin speculating all the ways one could "off themselves" accidentally on this planet and no one would be the wiser.
Thanks for giving me the chance to "fantasize" about a very "real" issue.
I believe that you could do better at the internal struggle taking place. A true poem draws the emotion from the reader with every word that's written, typed, or spoken. From reading this, I don't get the sense of being stressed as much as someone feeling sorry for him or herself. Wishing they were doing something else rather than having to be the dutiful student and study 100% of the time.
Sat, April 25th, 2009 6:29pm
Author
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This was just a snapshot of my personal feelings at the time. It was not meant to be what someone else was feeling, and I wrote exactly what I felt at the time. While it may not be a 'true poem', in your opinion, I did feel every emotion it conveyed. I'm sorry if there wasn't enough depression in it for you. I'm just never really that depressed.
I apologize if you were misled by the poem's intent. I will try harder next time to better preface my work in the summary.
To clarify for everyone, the focus of this poem was the moment of weakness felt, not the actual stress itself. Stress was the cause of the weakness, yes, but the poem's intent is to allow the reader to follow the thought process of that weakness. It's almost like a daydream, if you will.
Sat, April 25th, 2009 6:44pmDepression isn't the issue, nor is it the synopsis. For me, it was more the words chosen. Yes the words you chose did most likely fit the feelings you had, however more likely than not, you could've chosen a different collection of words that conveyed a stronger sense of stress, rather than depression.
Sat, April 25th, 2009 7:05pm
Author
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Like I explained earlier, it wasn't an issue of stress. Obviously I've done a poor job of conveying that message, again. I won't, however, apologize for my choice of words, for they said exactly what I wanted them to. There doesn't need to be a 'stronger sense of stress', because it was not a strong emotion at the time.
Sat, April 25th, 2009 12:10pmwowo, that's exactly how it is! Magic way to say it xP
xoxo, vampirealice94
great poem! i guess we all feel weak sometimes it's jus life^_^ i luv everything u write XD Mona
Sun, May 3rd, 2009 11:01pmScrew what Fleur Elizabeth said, I thought this was a good poem (:
I honestly think u have talent, and I really like reading what you've wrote
Wow. Good job with the poem about school. Keep it up. =)
Thu, June 11th, 2009 6:41pmWow okay, that was a bit intense, I mean, suicide, thats a heavy topic, but I enjoyed how it flowed, I enjoyed the way she/he comes back into reality with the phone ringing, and back to the books, we all feel like that from time to time, great poem, giving it an "I LIKE."
xD
~Lady Leah~
You did a great job here, it is not an easy subject to broach and you handled it well. Good one!
Thu, June 10th, 2010 6:02amFacebook Comments
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Elliott
wow
Thu, April 2nd, 2009 10:28pmsometimes school can takes us to the brink but you just gotta push through
know that the harder you work now- the easier your life will be later
it's true- and believe it
feel free to check out my works
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Haha thank you for the kind words, Elliot. That was a thought from last semester; things are much better now, but I thought it would make a good poem. I had a chat one afternoon with my classmates, and I realized we all at some point had had those tendencies, even if just in passing :) Like, if I got hit by one of the university buses, would I get all A's for the semester? Hahaha
Thu, April 2nd, 2009 3:36pm