As Pink Floyd puts in “Brain Damage” I can’t think of anything to say. I am a music buff, preferably classic rock. Well, there’s good news, I’m officially out of the mopey mood I was in last year. I mean, it was ridiculous the way I walked around looking incredibly pissed off. A lot has happened since then and has changed me, for the best and the worst.
I’m not sure if it is the most significant thing but my sister had her kid. I call it Tito. Throughout the entire pregnancy she complained. What made me the most upset was the fact is that she gets one hundred dollars from the government for her stupid mistake. Like come on Obama. Now I am not dissing on America but I am just frustrated that she gets whatever she wants with no repercussions and the fact that she doesn’t really appreciate it. Well I’m still not into babies but my sister and mother promised me continually that the baby would not interfere with me. It totally does. The family room is a complete mess and I cant even watch TV. However, I never really have time for TV anymore, all I do is homework.
I work more than I think I am legally allowed to. Seriously its like five days a week. Work is where I met my ex-boyfriend. He fell completely in love with me, it was great. He is the reason that I had no need to rant on the internet. He actually listened, and he tried to understand my complicated thoughts. I give him full credit. The only thing was that I was not completely in love with him. And I was never really attracted to him, he is really not that good looking. But I don’t believe in looks so I thought he was nice and he really seemed to give a shit about me so I’ll give it a shot. He really got me out of my depression because he really cared about me, I mean genuine care. I don’t get that, I get forced care. I knew a week into dating him that I would be the girl to break his heart. This doesn’t affect me at all. Which is horrible.
So it was the second day of school and he tells me that he has cheated on me. Two things popped into my head; I am not surprised and I don’t give a fuck. That is horrible. Honestly I was relieved when I broke up with him. But I was used to him and I loved that he called me pretty and really cared and loved me. So I went back with him and meanwhile I told him I loved him. In my defense, I really thought it did, but I didn’t. so anyway I continued to date the kid and I noticed that he was still talking to the girl he cheated on me with. I actually had a thought in my mind that said this is good because now you can have an excuse to not talk to him as much and to maybe not hang out with me.
That’s when I knew that maybe it was time to dump his sorry-ass. He still loves me, and I know it. Still doesn’t effect me, isn’t that sad? Anyway my winner of a father has been caught in yet another lie. He lost his license like a dumb-shit and lied about the reason. So I confronted him, maturely, I swear, and he denied it. He just looks pathetic and a bit of an ass. Like grow some and admit to what you did. It really doesn’t effect me. Nothing seems to anymore, I think I am getting worse with the no emotions thing.
Anyway, since I last wrote I got a tattoo, its amazing. Its for me and I don’t show it off for others to see, that’s trashy. I also redid my room and it looks very me. I live in it, I never leave. I just stay with my music. Tonight its Interpol, there so good! What else? School is a bitch this year but I am really trying because I have to get out of this house. I don’t even care what I do at this point. Go west first though. I will probably end up in New York eventually.
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