Needing to remember

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Could Sharon ever remember what happened on the day that changed her life? Would she be able to handle what she remembered and to take back what was taken?

Submitted: November 16, 2008

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Submitted: November 16, 2008



‘Sharon, honey are you sure that you should do this? You are moving away from us and starting a new job only months after your attack. You haven’t given yourself time to heal and you still don’t know what happened to Joe.’

‘Mom, thank you for your concern but I need to do this. I spoke to Joe yesterday. He was shocked to here my voice, apparently we broke up and he said that I had left him. I cant remember that but I believe him. I need to get away and start my life over before I will be able to go on. I am not going to stay here and wait to remember what happened that day.’

‘Ok, I didn’t know you spoke to him. What time is your interview?’

‘At 9h00. I promise to phone you as soon as know what is going on.’

‘I love you honey and only want you close. I don’t want to loose you.’

‘You’re not going to loose me mom. I love you too.’

On Monday morning Sharon stopped in front of the biggest book store in Johannesburg. She had the strangest feeling that her life was about to change for good. Change in a good way. She knew that God was with her as she walked through the big doors up to reception.

She introduced herself to the lady behind the counter and was asked to wait while she goes and tells the owner that she was there. She looked around the store at some of the books that was on the shelves and was surprised at the wide range displayed on the shelves.

‘Miss Parker, you can come with me.’ The lady showed her into a beautiful office. The walls of the office was covered with paintings, abstract paintings in shades of orange, yellow and red.

Sharon’s eyes went around the room taking in every painting on the walls and stopped at the painting above the table. It was a painting of the cross. But it was different than anything she has ever seen. Without realizing it she started to smile, a comfortable feeling came across her and she felt relaxed and suddenly filled with excitement.

‘Miss Parker, are you ok?’ A man’s voice broke through the silence.

‘Yes, sorry.’ She looked him in the eye and what she saw made her feel even more relaxed.

‘You look like you have seen a ghost, do you want to sit down?’

‘I’m fine thank you. I’m actually more than fine.’

‘Ok, well let me introduce myself. I am Dave, that is all you need to know for now. I had a look at you CV but was wondering why you would want to leave the job you have at the moment?’

‘It’s not that I would want to leave my job, I was off work for a while and when I went back I found that a lot has changed.’

‘Why were you off work? What changed?’ He looked at her with tender eyes and she felt that she could trust him and tell him what happened but for some reason she didn’t.

‘I was in hospital for a while and when I got back my boss had gotten someone else to do my job. I guess its better that way because now I don’t have to work with my ex-fiance everyday.’

Dave wanted to know more but he could feel the Holy Spirit telling him to take it slow. The moment she walked into the door he knew two things.

One: it didn’t matter what she said, she was hired.

Two: this was the woman he was going to marry.

They spent the next our talking about the duties she would have while working for him and her salary. She was happy about the salary and didn’t have allot of questions about what he had to say.

‘When can you start?’

“Well, I need to find a place to stay first and the I will start as soon as I have settled in.’

‘In that case, I will send my driver to help you with your stuff. You can have the room next to mine in the suite upstairs.’

‘Excuse me…’

By the look in her face he could see that she did wasn’t sure what to say.

‘I own the building and the top floor has been modified into a two bedroom suite. Your room is included in your salary and you have my word that you will be safe there. Only two people can enter the top floor, me and you.’

‘Thank you, I don’t know what to say.’

‘Thank you is enough, I will let Simon know to meet you at the front door in order to help you move in.’

‘I don’t have a lot to bring so it shouldn’t take too long.’

She met Simon at the door and he followed her with the company truck to her old apartment. When she opened the door she suddenly felt ashamed to let someone come in and see the mess was left after that night. It was the first time that she had been back after that night. The yellow tape was still in the passage and when she opened the door she could still the marks the police made to mark her position.

Simon just stared at the you woman in front of him. He could see that she was scared to let him go into the room and when he saw why he felt compassion for the young lady. Something in him told him that she was the person lying where they had marked for a body. Instead of asking questions he waited for her to tell him what to load into the truck and what to leave. He looked around and could see a sign of struggle but tried not to let Sharon see the shock in his eyes. The room told him a story of horror and he wasn’t surprised that she only took her clothes and a couple of things that had sentimental value. The rest she left in the room.

She went to the land lord before they left and handed in the key. She told him to get rid of the rest of the things in the room as she didn’t want any of it anymore.

On their way back to the book store Sharon phoned her mom and told her what was happening. Her mm had put the phone on speaker phone in order for her father to her too. They were both sceptical about the fact that she was moving in with a stranger but then she told them how she had felt when she walked into the office. She told them every sensation in detail and that convinced her that she was making the right choice.

While unpacking the truck Simon was quiet, he couldn’t get the scene of the apartment out of his mind. When he looked at Sharon he saw that there was a red stain on her shoulder, as she turned around holding a pot plant in her hand he could see that she was bleeding.

‘Miss, your bleeding.’ He said in a whisper. As if he didn’t want to scare her.

‘Damit, how long will it take for this to go away.’ She was speaking more to herself than to Simon and when she saw his face she knew he was concerned.

‘Don’t worry Simon, its just an old wound that keeps going open when I overdo it.’

He didn’t say a word to her after that.

Once they had finished unpacking Simon excused himself and went to put the truck away. He went to Dave’s office, something was terribly wrong with the picture he saw today.

‘Sir.’ He put his head around the door to make sure that Dave was alone.

When Dave saw Simon’s face he knew something was wrong, he had known Simon all his life. He was a loyal driver to Dave’s dad and he has been like a second father to Dave after his dad had passed away.

‘Yes Simon, what wrong?’

‘I don’t know sir, I saw a lot of pain today.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Miss Sharon, she is bleeding.’

‘What, where? Is she ok?’

‘Over here.’ He showed Dave where the blood had been on Sharon’s shoulder.

‘Is she ok? Where is she now?’

‘She say she’s ok, she went to take a shower. Sir, this girl has been attacked… I don’t know…the apartment…there was sign of a strougle…there was blood…there was yellow tape from the police.’

Dave’s body went cold. When he saw her earlier during the interview he sensed something was not 100% right with the way Sharon was walking and sitting, it looked as if she was in allot of pain but he was warned by the Holy Spirit to allow her to come to him in her own time.

‘Simon, thank you for telling me. I will try and find out what happened. You don’t say a word of what you saw here today. Thank you my friend.’

Sharon went and took a shower after unpacking the things she had brought with her. Her mind was racing and her body was sore. She knew she had overdone it when Simon told her about the blood on her shoulder.

“Lord, help me remember what happened? Help me understand what I remember and help me to be able to handle what I remember.’

Dave walked past Sharon’s bedroom and could here her prayer, he felt compassion and wanted to go in and just hold her but he knew that the timing was not right. He had to wait for God’s timing, he had to wait for His go ahead before he could do anything.

He walked to the kitchen and saw that he really didn’t have much to give Sharon to eat so instead he decided to order pizza. He knocked on her door and asked her what kind of pizza she would like and then ordered it. While he was waiting for the delivery he went and took a shower. Praying the whole time.

They ate dinner in silence and Sharon got up to clear the table and then excused herself and went to her room. She was tired and wanted to sleep more than anything she could imagine. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep but she woke after having the awful feeling that someone was watching her. She got up and went to make herself some tea.

Dave couldn’t sleep at all, he kept thinking about what Simon had told him and about the prayer Sharon had said in her room earlier. He heard the television go on and knew it was Sharon, he got up and went to see if she was ok. As she sat on the couch with her tea in her hand he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she is. She had long blonde hair, tied in a pony tail now, long brown legs and he had noticed earlier that she had deep blue eyes. As he looked at her he could also the cut that Simon was so concerned about.

‘Lord, what had happened to her? Who would cut such a beautiful woman and leave a mark on her body like that?’

Instead of asking her, he turned around and went back to his room. He desperately needed God to help him with the feelings he had for this woman. He hardly knew her, he met her for the first time this morning. When he saw her he lost his heart to her and now when she looked so helpless he had make sure that God was first on his mind and that he didn’t follow his own feelings but respected her feelings as well. He knew that for now he had to be the boss and not the night in shining armour.

Months went by, they worked together like a team and Sharon came up with more and more ideas. She started coming out of her shell and taking charge of the shop in such a way that he could think of opening another shop in Cape Town. She did the research and made sure that their customers where always happy. But at night she had night mares that kept Dave awake.

He could here her scream at knight, as if she wanted to get away from someone. He wanted to ask her what she dreamt but had to trust that she would speak to him when the time was right.

One night, about a year after Sharon had moved in, she had another dream. This time she came storming into Dave’s room screaming for him to help her. She didn’t know she was dreaming until Dave managed to wake her.

“Who is Joe?’ He spoke to her loud but calm while holding her firmly in his arms.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Sharon, why did you just ask me to kill Joe?’

‘I need some air…’

She turned around and walked out to the patio. Dave followed with blanket and some tea. She was sitting in the corner of the patio with her legs folded under her and her arms wrapped around herself.

Dave wrapped the blanket around her and handed her the tea. He didn’t ask anything, he waited for her to drink the tea and to calm down. When he saw that she was calmer and that her body had stopped shaking he asked her the again.

‘Who is Joe?’

‘He is my ex fianc’ She stared in front of her while talking to him.

‘Why would you think he wants to kill you?’

‘I don’t know, I’m starting to remember what happened the night I was attached.’

‘Go on, your safe now.’

‘In my dreams I cant see who attacked me but I know it happened in my apartment. In my dreams I can hear the door get slammed, I see a man standing in front of me with no face. He has Joe’s jacket on but that’s all I can see. He has a knife… before I can say anything to him he slaps me. He slaps me hard and I fall to the ground. Then he sits on top of me and then I wake up.’

Dave put his arms around her and realized that she was shivering, it was in the middle of summer and she was shivering. He helped her to the couch and sat next to her, holding her in his arms.

‘I think you should try and get some more sleep? We can talk about this again tomorrow.’

‘I’m scared.’

‘Scared of what?’

‘Scared of sleeping, scared of remembering, scared of seeing.’

‘If I asked you to speak to a close friend of mine, would you?’

‘Who is he?’

‘He’s a private investigator that works on cases where the victims can’t remember what happened.’

‘Will you be with me?’

‘I will be with you as long as you may need me to be.’

They sat like that for a while, Dave could feel Sharon relax in his arms and soon she was fast asleep. He moved her gently and got up, he left her sleeping on the couch and went back to his own room. He didn’t sleep again that night, instead he phoned Peter and told him what happened and they prayed together.

Peter promised to get the file on Sharon’s case and to go and see them as soon as he has worked through the documents.

At 08h00 Dave went to make breakfast, he knew that Sharon would want to take a shower before Peter got there and he had something he wanted to say to her before Peter came. She needed to know how he felt about her and that he didn’t care what she remembered, it wouldn’t change the way he felt.

He wanted her to be sure that he would be by her side every step of the way.

Sharon woke to the smell of bacon and eggs, when she opened her eyes Dave was sitting infront of her with a tray on his lap. On it was a plate with bacon, eggs, fried tomato and toast. There was a cup of coffee as well.

She sat up and took the tray from him with a smile.

‘Thank you for this and for last night.’

‘It’s a pleasure, trust me.’

‘Could you sleep after I woke you?’

‘No, I phoned that friend of mine after you fell asleep. He’s coming over this afternoon.’


‘I’ll be by your side every step of the way. I promise.’

‘Thank you. I don’t know what to say. You have been more than kind to me in the last year.’

‘Sharon, I need to tell you something. I don’t want you to think I am trying to make you feel better by saying this. I mean every word I am about to say.’

‘What do you want to say, you sound serious.’

‘I love you…I know you might not be able to say it back to me now but I need you to know that no matter what you remember or how you feel after remembering I wont love you any less. I want to be there for you and I want to be able to hold you when you have a bad dream. I want to bring you breakfast in bed and make you dinner at night. I want to be the person you run to when you are scared and when you feel like you have no place to go.’

‘Hummm. Say that again…’

‘I want to look after you….’

‘No, the first part.’

‘I love you.’

‘Why? How could you love someone that cant even tell you if she’s a virgin or not?’

‘Because I don’t care what happened, to me you will always be the most beautiful person on earth. Unique and perfect in every way.’

‘I want to say the words to you, but I want to do it when I am 100% sure that I mean it.’

‘Thank you, thank you for not shutting me out.’

They talked about their feelings a little longer and then Sharon went to take a shower.

When she got back there was a man sitting at the dining room table with Dave. He had friendly eyes, but they were filled with an emotion she couldn’t place.

‘Miss Parker, my name is Peter.’

‘Hi, please call me Sharon. You must be Dave’s friend?’

‘Yes, I am. Are you ready for this?’

‘As ready as I will ever be.’

They all sat around the dining room table and Peter took out a file. In the file she could see photo’s and other documents.

‘I want you to know that I am sorry for what happened to you and that I fully intend on catching the man who did this.’


‘I need you tell me what you know.’

She told him in as much detail as possible what she knew and what her dreams were about.

‘I need you to look at the photo’s for me. Its not going to be easy but I need you to try and remember what you can after seeing the photo’s.’


Sharon looked at the photo’s and with every photo she remembered something more. Dave could see in her eyes that she was remembering and he could see that what she remembered was far worse than he had expected.

‘I was raped….by Joe…’ She got up and ran to the bathroom. Tears running down her face. She got sick and with every second going by she remembered something more. She remembered the sms’s on Joe’s phone, the money he had stolen, the knife, the fight. As soon as she felt she was ok, she went back to the dining room. She sat opposite Dave and Peter and looked at her hands.

‘Are you ok?’ Dave looked at her with the same love he had shown her the last 9 months.

‘I remember everything now. Joe was having an affair with a lady at work. We worked for the same company, he worked for another department. The day of the attack I was off sick. I had the flue. He forgot his phone at home and when I heard a sms come through I went to read it. It was from his lover. She wanted to know when they would meet and how much money he could get. They were stealing money from the company. Joe came into the room while I was reading the message and flipped when I confronted him about it. He slapped me hard. I fell to the ground and when I turned around I saw that he was standing over me with a knife. He kicked me in the stomach and then sat on top of me. He cut my blouse open with the knife and then my pants. He raped me. He said that he had to get rid of me now but he wanted what belonged to him first. We had been together for 4 years and I would never allow him to sleep with me. He moved in with me a month before the attack because we were supposed to get married a week after. He left me lying on the floor while he started packing, he then raped me again and cut my neck. He wanted me to bleed to death. And then he left. I don’t know what happened after that or who found me. I remember a paramedic talking to me but I cant remember his face.’

Dave and Peter looked at each other, stunned at the calmness in her voice and the expression in her eyes. She looked as if she was about to crack, she got up and went to sit on the couch.

Peter left a couple of minutes later and Dave came to sit next to her. Her held her in his arms and told her that he was sorry. Sorry that she had to go through that and sorry that she had to remember by seeing her own naked body full of blood on a floor. He gave something to help her sleep and then put her to bed.

When she woke up Dave was sitting in a chair next to her bed, fast asleep. He had the phone in his hands. It take long for him to wake up, when she tried to get up she lost her balance and he was there to catch her.

He let her sit on the bed and told her that Peter had arrested Joe for the rape and attack. But that she would have to testify against him in court. She would have to be able to tell the jude what happened that day in order for them to lock him up.

'Do you still love me?After knowing what happened, knowing thatIcould never give youpurity. Knowing that another man took that from me?'

'What he did was not your fault. I love you more now than I did before you remembered. I love you because I now I can see how strong you are. I know thatGod put us together and the rest we will work out together.I wont leave you and we will get through this together.'

Dave made a promise that night, a promise to never leave Sharon. He kept to his promise, no matter how hard it got he was always there for her and he stood byher every step of the way. Years later he went with her to go and see Joe in prison.She forgave himand in doing that she got peace for herself and her family

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