why i want to cease to exist

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
free thought

Submitted: September 04, 2012

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Submitted: September 04, 2012

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if youve ever been in love you know that when its gone or somthing goes wrong it leaves scars on your heart

dont ever put so much faith in some one if your not sure your going to be getting it in return

i was hurt and took the recovery process into my own hands and faild im misirable

i took too many pills and lost controll of my self and actions im not invincable

what to do but soak in my own tears only because i didnt want to face my worst fears

its going to happen no matter what just get over it is what im told but thats easier said than done

what i found out unlike my self to me she is most ceartinly the one ha ha ha (the one)

what did i do other than spill my heart what happened it came back to me shredded and tainted and dead

ive tried to get over her but cant seem to i just cant seem the get the thought of her out of my fucking head

but thats only a problem on my behalf not one that she shares with me no i ride this horse alone

my friend share my pain and greif only becouse they know how bad im hurting i wear it on my sleeve my pain is somthing ive only started to show

i talk about only the parts that make me mad not so much the ones that make me want to be done with this painfull existance

the ones that mean so much more the ones that have to do with the failure of my previous commitments

what can you do other than bitch whine and moan about these things oh i can shut the fuck up

but if i dont share these things it echoes in side of my head and i cant make that noise stop im fucked

thats what im force to deal with no matter what thats the way it goes i guess never to change for the better

and to think im the one that ended what we shared its all my fault im the one that decided to leave her

trying to make it better is an effort thats a day late and a dollar short anit that a bitch

but it dosent matter it just goes to the books as one more sorry attempt for a desprate mans wish

ill always have these scars on my heart!

 


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