So i'm only 15, When a adult tell's me Love is for Growns up,I believe anyone can have "love"
Anywho, i knew what Love meant to Me;
So in the summer of 2007
, I have a Person who cared for me very much, her name is Kristina. Kristina is 21,
and i basically accept her like a sister and a mom through my rough patches that i've been through.
at the time i was 13. Kristina dated my Brother 19 year old Brother Richard. They're a honest true cute couple
that everyone could of agreed. The one thing i liked about there relationship was how my brother was so
honest about everything, having Trust.....................
Throughout that summer was when i got kicked out, at the age of 13..it was ofcourse hard. Richard was living
with Kristina in love, with me going through a rough time they were there. and i stayed with them SOO...
all three of us would always go to Edmonton or at least
some where different. >_< . It was July.
As how drive home back Kristina needed to go to Leduc's Wal mart to
get some Oil and other stuff she wanted.
Of course i went in since i had this huge obsession with Wal Mart back then. ^-^
When Kristina asked me to pay, she gave me the money and I went to the Till. So i snuck in a small
pack of Gum [bubbilicious if you must know hahas].. And then 07/16/07 was the day that changed meh wittle depression life.
I swear to god that kid was amazing, His name was Jesse, As he noticed i wanted gum, he, himself
brought out a pack of the same flavour that i wanted, he looked at me, put the piece on his tounge and then
started chewing. I thought to myself "..I love Wal-Mart" Lol. While he was putting the stuff Kristina bought into
the wal-mart bag's, he asked me "Hmm, what you doing throughout this hour?"
It startled me because both because i was the VERY LAST person of wal-mart and also because both
of us were so quiet, i answered shyly "Nothing." He laughed this basically musical laugh..i blushed. He asked
me to hang out with him since i was his last customer, So i begged for Kristina to hang out with Richard while
i could hang out with this Jesse stranger i just met, and yet weirdly she agreed. SOOOO.;..................
i mean, you're 13, you're talking to a random 15 year old emo what did i do? Actually talked to this Jesse kid
for three hours, We shared our lives together, and yet amazingly enough, he nevered ONCE interrupted me
when i was talking, he kept..smiling at me.. it was cute.. And me and jesse were like untouchable ^-^
That was Epic beans. And well, yeah. On our way to Wetaskiwin i thought..
I wonder if i would
ever see that Jesse kid again. 5 months past. I go on Nexopia
, as i was bored and i creeped this page ~Divine~Beauty~ ,
and well my jaw opened with delightful shock, i thought "ohmygoth it's Jesse", if you people who ever reads this who has
Nexopia, Jesse once had plus member, so i then went on to my page. Three days later i get a message from him saying;
"oh mys it's Lanna! i remember you", and as the days went on we literally came to Wetaskiwin in town to live there just
for me. I turned 14 on May 10, That was a epic day. Through out that whole first year it was basically just me and Jesse.
SInce Kristina is 21, he said that our relationship was kinda different she once mentioned. That it would last. Funnie thing was
at first it was one year we dated i finally had the guts to tell people on our 8th months lol. Of course my parent's didn't care since
i don't live with them.
2008; It was.. July once again, Two year's it's been...Two of the most amazingest best years of my life with Jesse.
I thought it was Love. Jesse accepted me for who i was, Even my real family loved them, but for some weird reason
i never really introduced my friend's to Jesse. I swear i love him so darn much, it passed my 15th birthday, Jesse's 17 birthday
on May 19th.
It was.... August 20; Where it was my real mom's birthday which was also kind of a sad day for me, Because Jesse had to
move to Ontario. :(
November passed. -.-
Throughout those unbarable months missing him everytime we were on the phone he always reminded me how much
he cared for me and always would. ^-^
Pur gayness, i mean like me and jesse still talked on the internet and texted but that was it. So then me and Jesse both
agreed not to date. Until Koffy came into my LIfe, I told him about every detail but Koffy. (real name is kurtis) While he told
me about this [weirdp] Krista chick. so we decided to give it a shot.
And this was what Jesse told me.
"you and Koffy will date for tops of three months, when he turns 19 he'll probably dump you"
Jesse told me about this chick Krista, sounded like a true whore lol. i told him "YOu'll date until she cheats"
I Dated Koffy in Wetaskiwin alberta, Jesse with Krista in ontario. Guess what? All was true what we said to each other.
his lasted one month mines two months. Friends say when you date someone they can tend to change you.
My best friend told me Ever since Koffy and I ened our relationship and Jesse leaving I'm not quiet [eep i guess?]
either way jesse was surpised too about what happened those two months, we cared for eachother, i nevered missed
someone soo bad for such an amazing kid..
Jesse wanted to see me so bad..as much as i missed him.. we both knew it wouldn't work.
more gay i kept thinking.
It felt like years. I couldn't handle it. My friend's noticed it. I was depressed. i couldn't take not another day not seeing Jesse.
And yet strangely enough Jesse agreed..And i was quiet..
I was hanging out with my two friends. it was probably around one am. she kept telling me that Jesse would come back
[by the way which he mentioned in March...yay]..
Jesse randomly called me:
"love you lannnna"
So, we went walking aorund wetaskiwin..amazing most beauitful night for january that day..
i must admit i was having soo much fun, where i was actually smiling, which hasn't happened for a long time..
Then i get a phone call.
It was Jesse's mother on the phone. Crying.
"Im so sorry lanna,.." I could hardly hear her crying so bad.
"..whats going on?"
"Jesse was going to surpise to Alanna, He was coming back to Wetaskiwin Today, He was in Edmonton,
He bought you 10 roses, 9 rainbow roses, one Black in the center just to surpise you" I looked at my cell phone.
it was 1:23am exactly.
"Jackie what happened?" i bearly whispered into my cell.
"He's in the Hospital..Alanna. Jesse's last and final words were;
Tell Alanna Johnson I Love her."
As i heard Jesse's mom jackey say "last and final" i dropped to the ground. My two friend's Ayla and Angus stopped
as they heard me cry >_<. Minutes were slowly passing as it felt like hours. My head was spinning and i just
couldn't stop crying. Worst day ever...
The next week i received the roses, But also a six page letter how much Jesse loved me.
That my friend was Love, no matter what age, height apperance, it matters what's inside, I knew i love Jesse,
until this simple day i At least think of him once a day. I couldn't sleep for days. Wouldn't eat. My friend Derek
was even there, i bet he does't know it but when he texted me "Nana is a cute candian" the next day when Jesse
died he had no fucking clue how much that helped me. In small words Thankies Derek
how they can care for you, even there hugs can mean alot. At least i once knew.
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