They All Scream For Ice Cream
June 27th 2012, a warm muggy day in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. Gus Stevens is mowing is lawn as he does every other Wednesday while his best friend, Daniel Easton, also his neighbour from across the street is watering his garden at the side of his two story brick home. Every Wednesday the two buddies’ symmetrically do their yard work and then meet up in either one’s garage for a nice ice gold frigid beer that has been chilling in the fridge overnight. This Wednesday though was something special for these two men; it was the last day of the school year. Why might this be a concern for both Gus and Daniel? Simply because it is their son’s senior year and the night prior was a huge end of the year bash at one of their good friend’s home. The boys did not come home that night but instead went to school the next day, on the 27th completely hung-over just like everyone else. Anyway, the fathers were extremely anxious to hear about their night; for one reason in particular. You see, these four soldiers share a very close relationship, Randy, the son of Gus and Malcom, the son of Daniel all share a bond; a brotherhood you can call it. These four tell everything to each other, or at least try to. The most recent of discussions was of course about sex, because that is what most men desire in life. The two fathers would mention their party days and how wild they were in high school, getting any girl they wanted and drinking everybody under the table. Their stories of their lives back in the day were epic, but that all changed of course once they got married and settled down, and decided to pass the torch down to their sons. Unfortunately, Randy Stevens and Malcom Easton have not been to successful. As a matter of fact, both children are 19 year old virgins.
1500 hours finally swings by, and Gus and Dan are relaxed in a couple of lawn chairs each sucking back a nice cold Lucky®; and the bus arrives with the boys. They stop off the bus obviously in rough shape from the previous night and just want to go to bed and sleep for multiple hours, especially now that the school year has finished. The fathers grab each of their sons and hand them a beer and sit them down and eagerly ask about the huge end of the year bash that occurred the previous night. The boys then tell them about it, how there were three huge kegs and all the hot ladies that were present; they said that they had a great time. Dan, then tries to go into detail without being awkward or weird asking “so did you get it in playa playa!?”, clearly directed towards his son Malcom. The boys giggle but then get the straight face look and explain. Randy says to the father’s “well, Malcom almost did, a girl was sitting on his lap because of a dare or something and he got a raging boner out of nowhere! The girl was named Elly, and I think she got kind of turned on but got off and sat beside him instead”. Dan then asks why his son didn’t go in for the kill and just get the job done? Malcom then shouts “I forgot a condom!!! Okay, I forgot the condom. Fuck, I tried self ejaculating with one before and you feel shit! I hate them and I forgot one on purpose!!!” The group then sits there in silence. Gus then bursts out laughing and calls Dan’s son a pussy and how he should have risked it for the biscuit. Gus then asks his son Randy, why he didn’t get laid. Randy then tells his father how he was far to drunk and just played beer pong all night and ignored the babes that were doing a wet t-shirt contest on the kitchen table. The boys then go inside their respected homes and go directly to sleep. About five minutes of silence goes by and Dan then says “what in god’s name have we raised? Women? I would have had an abortion if I would have known my son would be a god damn female!”. Gus tells him to calm down, and that they will somehow fix this problem before the first year of College starts, he informs Dan how many bitches go to the University of Georgia; that brought a smile to Daniel’s face immediately.
July 18th, almost a month goes by since they last had a discussion about the virginity issue. Dan and Gus decide to keep it on the down low for a bit; until they come up with a clever plan to help their kids get past this road block. Anyway, it was about 1600 hours when the sun was nearly unbearable in the suburbs of Atlanta, and that is when they heard a ring from a distance, they heard the ring two more times. As they look down the street they see a blurry image, suddenly an ice cream truck appears. For the first time in over three years, an ice cream truck comes to this residential area of Atlanta. Everyone gathered around the truck to get their fair share of ice cream, include Dan and Gus. Then, suddenly Gus drops his ice cream cone, he has a sudden realization; he pulls Daniel aside and tells him to take a look around and asks him what does he see. Daniel replies that he sees a ton of people... Gus then responds “yes, a ton of people... a ton of ladies is what you see! At least a 2:1 ratio we got here Danny boy!” Dan then realizes what Gus is saying is in fact a true stat. The two men go back to the garage to grab hold of another beer and begin to brainstorm. Gus suggests that they begin their own ice cream business for the summer, to get closer with all those kids in the area and then once they are all bonded, to throw a pre college party, almost like a joint party.
Dan and Gus now begin the blueprint to this master plan of theirs. They begin with what the ice cream business would be called. They come up with the name “Scream for Ice Cream”, an original name indeed. Next, they must think of the flavors they will have for sale, they cannot have to many because that would cost them quite a bit of money so they narrowed it down to 5 flavors only, they are: chocolate, vanilla, cookie and cream, strawberry banana, and grape flavor; grape obviously for all the African Americans in the neighbourhood. Daniel and Gus both did inform their wives about what was going on, they wanted to be straight up and honest without being put in the dog pound for a while. Surprisingly enough, the wives were ecstatic, being high school sluts themselves they know how much a good night out means to teens these days. Now that everything was in place, they must now rent out an ice cream truck. They go to a local ice cream shop and ask if there is any abandoned or beat up trucks they can lease out for two months to sell some ice cream. The owner of “Poppin’ Pink Ice Cream” told them he would lease out his best ice cream truck to the gentleman only if they directed the customers towards his ice cream shop afterwards; of course Daniel and Gus agreed to do so, it was no big deal.
They now have the truck in the driveway, a beautiful big white monster. They must now paint this behemoth and include the company name on the side. By the end of the day, the truck was a bright orange with the name written in purple, once again to attract the high population of African Americans in the area. Approximately four hours later, they took to the streets, the ice cream frigid and ready to be placed in either a plastic cup, or a beautiful toasted waffle cone. They first went to the area known as “Leslie Place”; this was one of the richer areas of the Atlanta suburbs, and loaded with white people. They rang the bell multiple times and the kids piled out. Daniel without thinking says “look at all that white trash pussy to be had for our sons, its beautiful aint’ it Gus?”. Gus just looks at Daniel and replies with a “...sure”. Now, it was time to sell ice cream! Vanilla being the most popular choice for these white kids, they sold an amazing 64% vanilla in Leslie Place. The men tried to suggest some other flavors to get an understanding of what was good or not, and the white kids said how disgusting the grape flavor was, saying “only a monkey would eat such a thing!”. Regardless, the kids loved the ice cream and requested that they come back again sometime during the week. The men told the multiple 18-21 year olds that of course they’d be back, and told them to bring some more friends out next time. Their plan was being executed to a tee, their next stop was approximately 6 miles south, they were headed towards “Compton Avenue” which was a very high populated black neighbourhood. The men then suited up in their bullet proof vest just in case anything bad were to happen. Now, it was once again time to sell ice cream! Gathered around were dozens of black women, ranging from 17-42, all beautiful, well most of them. Anyway, oddly enough, grape was the flavor of choice in this neighbourhood, and a close 2nd was chocolate, of course. The black women treated the two men with such respect and hospitality, they even brought out some KFC and Popeye’s chicken for the gentleman as a thank you gesture. Gus told the women that they would be back again later on in the week and that they could expect a lot of delicious ice cream all throughout the summer season. They all screamed for joy, they were all screaming for ice cream.
The ice cream business so far has been a great success, bringing in thousands of dollars in the first month of work. The guys then began to make invite cards for their huge end of the summer party before their kids went off to University. The cards would be handed out with the ice cream to a select few, mostly women and the odd guy just so it wouldn’t look sexist on their part. As Monday rolled back around, the gentleman had their cards ready and the cool ice cream on the brink of freezer burn, the customers were in for a treat indeed. They made their way all around the neighborhoods delivering ice cream and also delivering their invitations. Everyone seemed so excited about the party, and giving guarantee’s that they would be in attendance. Daniel also mentioned at every stop that their two good looking sons would be there, and that they will make sure it is a good time for all of the ladies who go. As the day neared an end, the guys then packed up their truck and made their way home. They showered then got together for a mid evening beer and discussed how great this party will be. Talking about what they will serve, who’s going to show up, how many people and all of that junk. But, Gus realized a serious problem, he says to Dan, “if our sons couldn’t get laid at any other party... how will they at this one?”. This is now a serious dilemma and a serious roadblock in the plan of Gus and Daniel.
Daniel and Gus then began to research; researching way’s to get their sons laid. They looked up on Google, “how to make girls horny” “how to get nerds laid” “how to pick up a girl”. All of which are ridiculous things to look up on the internet. Gus however did come across one thing that just might work, as he looked up “what makes girls want to have sex” he found a link, the link said “the drug to love”, Gus clicked on this link and discovered what teenagers today call “the love drug” also known as, ecstasy. Gus continued to read up on this drug, realizing how seriously dangerous it could be, but how amazing the results can be as well. He discovered the price of the drug on the streets, and is seriously considering purchasing multiple pills. Dan asks how they would drug the girls though, without it being obvious. Gus replied with two simple words, “ice cream”. He further explains, “we now have the trust of our community, they love our ice cream, we have been feeding it down their dry mouths for the entire summer! They will never question our product, all we need to do is pop a few dozen pills in the ice cream as its being made, and they won’t even notice a difference! It is the perfect plan, drugged ice cream for the girls, and normal ice cream for the guys.” Now, the men must get a hold of the drug, they decided to take their ice cream truck to the most obvious place first, Compton Avenue. As they rolled down the street, blaring their new hip song “bitches love ice cream” the “bitches” leaked out of their homes and began to purchase gallons of the ice cream, grape flavor and chocolate were all nearly gone. Suddenly, a homeless African American came to the truck asking for free ice cream. The guys could tell she was homeless, but offered her a different deal instead, they told her to enter the truck and take a drive with them to discuss this deal, the homeless lady agreed. As they were all driving around the ATL, the men got right to the point, “do you do drugs? If yes what kind of drugs?” the lady responds, “yes, I do almost every kind of drug. I sell drugs, I buy drugs, I do drugs.” The guys then asked “ecstasy, where can we get some, do you sell it? Can you get us about 60 pills of ecstasy?” the lady then says “I got 80 right here, let’s make a deal. I will give you all 80 for two jugs of grape ice cream.” Gus did the math in his head, two jugs of grape ice cream would only be worth 55 pills at street price, and he took the deal immediately. They dropped the lady back off in the neighborhood where they found her and were then on their way.
Now that the pills were purchased, it was time for the production phase to begin. As they ordered their largest amounts of ice cream thus far, they then divided the pills into different sections. They divided the pills into statistical matters, meaning more pills in the more popular type of ice cream. 20 pills in chocolate, 20 pills in cookies and cream, 15 in grape, 15 pills in vanilla and finally 10 pills in strawberry banana flavor. Luckily for Dan and Gus, the ecstasy did not cause a discoloration in their ice cream; it just added some libido to the mood of the ice cream, if you get the drift. A couple days later, Malcom and Randy approached their fathers demanding to know what was going on about this party they were hearing about around the neighborhood, and why they were not informed. The father’s assured the two inexperienced kids that this party would indeed be “off the chain.” The boys shrugged their shoulders and were on their way, playing a pickup basketball game with some African Americans from a nearby community home centre. The men made their way into the basement area of Daniel’s home; Dan’s basement is loaded with Georgia Bulldogs apparel and decorations, from lamps to blankets to coasters, it really showed his love for the collegiate football team, this was the only difference between the two best friends, because Gus is a giant Georgia Tech fan. Regardless, they look past their differences and became best friends and go into this position, the men in possession of 80 ecstasy pills, about to drug hundreds of teens, and cause a mass orgy in their two homes; this was something no one was prepared for.
It was about 4 days before the bash, and the guys had to get everything ready. They purchased 4 kegs, one keg consisted of Budweiser, the 2nd keg was filled to the tits with MGD, the 3rd keg, also packed to the limit was doused in Coors Light, and finally the 4th beautiful keg was fully loaded and ready to explode with Lucky. Four great beers, ready to be poured deep down hundreds of bitches throats. Not only did they get the kegs, they also managed to purchased 10 beer funnels, ensuring that there would be at least 10 individuals funneling at a time, now the guys were getting excited! Next, the responsible fathers purchased at least 50 shot glasses, 35 regular, and 25 double shot glasses. They also organized a wet t-shirt contest, there were three different competitions for the wet t-shirt contests. First, was for the “small but beautiful” girls who had breast sizes from B range down to A were the only ones able to participate in this competition. The next wet t-shirt section of the competition were for the “Decent but not Busty”, this is for girls with C cups, can be from the very start of a C cup all the way up to the largest cup size there is for C, all those girls who are on the brink of being busty were eligible for this section of the completion. Finally, the third and final area of this completion were for the “Busty and Beyond”, the name says it all, D cups and higher, that means double D tits bouncing in a small wet T, that means going beyond, all the way to Z, making guys excited about this party. Anyway, enough about the wet T-shirt contests, the men also hired 5 strippers, the best of the best from the ATL, each costing nearly 300 dollars each for one night. It’s a pretty good price the guys thought, considering Gus made sure that two of the five were prostitutes as well. Dan and Gus had everything pre paid and ready to be shipped to their homes the day prior to the party, they couldn’t believe this was actually going to happen; the best party that will ever exist in the ATL suburbs. The guys then grabbed a can each of Brava, and reclined on their lawn chairs in Daniel’s garage, they had a heart to heart. “Gus, you know... our sosn are about to be men... real men, like yourself and I” Daniel reply’s “Yup, they sure are... if they fuck this one up I’m seriously packing up my bags and leaving this family. My son needs to get some va jay jay very soon.” The boys then exchange words... “Yup.” “Yup.”
August 2nd, the day before the party, and the gentleman were off to do their last delivery of the summer. They printed out a few hundred more invitations to reassure the public that the party was indeed going to happen the very next day at 2100 hours. As they made their usual routes, more and more people gathered around their truck, mentioning how excited they all are for the party, and asking if there will be any unique events taking place. Gus told the public to read through the invite, all the events and contests are in the invitation pamphlet, Gus also then mentioned how there would be FREE ice cream for everyone at the party. Crowds from all neighborhoods cheered loudly, once again, they all screamed for ice cream, but little did they know, this was a new type of ice cream... this, well this was a panty dropping type of ice cream.
All the deliveries were complete, and they returned the truck to the owner of “Poppin’ Pink Ice Cream.” Everything went well, and they were on their way back home, and waiting for them were their two beautiful wives, and two ice cold Labatte Blue tall boy cans of beer. It was shocking, the wives were actually wasted by the time the guys got home to Daniel’s garage, the girls had plenty of shots they said Jill, the wife of Dan shouts “I fucking had 4 shots of tequila in the past one hour Dan! The past one fucking hour! You know what that means?? I aint suckin’ you dick tonight hubby because imma gag and puke all over yo fat ass!” Dan, stares in disbelief... “but, but you haven’t done that for me in almost three months now Jill... its not fair!!!!” Gus and his wife, Charlotte, are too busy to hear the argument; the two horn dogs were literally undressing themselves in their friends garage, but then realized that they must continue this sin elsewhere, therefore they relocated to their son’s bedroom. As the argument continued between Dan and Jill about the sexual obstruction, Jill takes another shot, this time of Watermelon Vodka, the brand was Smirnoff, 40% alcohol percentage. Jill gags slightly, staring into Daniel’s eyes, she whispers “our son is actually going to... to get... laid tomorrow night... I’m going to be so proud of our son.” Dan gives her a big hug, and pats her on the back like he would to a newborn infant, and suddenly of course she vomits all over his neck/shoulder area. Daniel pushes her off calmly, and directs her to the bedroom and aids her up the stairs, he gets her to bed and then makes his way down to the man cave to catch the end of the Georgia game that was playing on TBS.
It has finally arrived, August 3rd, 2013, the official day of the pre college bash. The couples were up early, around 9am getting everything ready for this huge, monumental event that is going to take place twelve hours from now. The guys got the homemade stage ready for the wet t-shirt contests, the wives got the stripper poles set up in random locations around the house, the ten beer funnels were all together near the 4 abnormally large kegs, and the 50 shot glasses were divided in both homes. They had strobe lights going, and all types of music; they hired five different DJ’s for the night, techno, rap, pop, were the types of music to be played at this party. The guys had the ice cream in the refrigerator and would remain there until time for the party, the pills were mixed to perfection and this ice cream was about to change the lives of everyone.
Doors are opened and the drinks are being pre made, Gus and Dan were dressed in tuxedos for the special event, while their wives were dressed in skin tight dresses and shiny high heels; secretly trying to impress any type of guy that would be in attendance to tonight’s party. 2130 struck on the clock, and still no one has arrived, Malcom and Randy were sitting on the couch sipping on a mixed drink wondering what was going on, and began to show disappointment in what they thought was supposed to be the party of the year. But little after that thought entered their minds, groups of students entered the home, and the party was now in business. Quickly the party developed, the guys guessed that by 2230, there was approximately 350 individuals in the home’s. It was now time for the men to commence some nightly events, first up was the beer funnel championships. Only a select few would be able to participate in this event, they chose 32 individuals from each party that was going on at each home, and the winner of those playoffs would then face off in a championship battle to see who the beer funnel champion is really. It was divided down the middle, well almost. 20 girls and 12 guys for each tournament; this took some time to complete, but now the crowd was wasted and on the verge of blackout drunk, exactly what Gus and Daniel want. As the event finished, they then moved on towards the wet t-shirt competition; any girls who wanted to participate in their division were welcome to do so, and let me be the first to tell you, every babe wanted to take part surprisingly. From the A’s to D’s, all these breasts were bouncing through their shirts and making every guy want a piece of that ass. Unfortunately, the competition had to come to an end, but everyone enjoyed it and had a blast from the past. The competitions were over, now all that was left was to party the night away; the guys began to get drunk themselves and realized that it was time to give out some free ice cream! Gus gets behind the counter where the ice cream is stored and then screams out “free ice cream everyone! I said F-R-E-E ICE CREAM!” people then surrounded the counter, with their plastic cups begging for the ice cream. Remember, there are two tubs one for the men, and one for the women; Gus made sure that they were labelled so he would not mess this up for his son. As the girls came, the ecstasy filled ice cream went out, the girls didn’t even notice a taste to it, or any discoloration, it was perfect; the plan was actually working to perfection. The sons also realized what the parents have done, and they seemed ecstatic about it, giving their fathers great big hugs and kisses on the cheeks. As the girls behaviours began to change, it was finally time for the kids to get in there and make their move; as they went in they slickly offered them a drink and showed some girls a few magic tricks they learned at magic camp that took place last summer. The girls were completely impressed and amazed with the talent that these boys possessed, they then sat down on the sectional sofa and began to hook up. Not sexually, just teenage kind of hooking up. An hour or so went by and they were still going at it, Malcom, had a 22 year old brunette who wasn’t even going to the University of Georgia, but she was as fine as they come. Later, Randy also had a girl all over him, he found a known customer to the father’s, her name was Risha, an African American from Compton Avenue, and you know what they say, once you go black, you never go back.
As the party eventually concluded the boy’s thanked their father’s with beautiful large smiles plastered all over their face’s. they also thanked them by cleaning up the immense load of trash that was left behind once the group of students left the residence. Gus and Daniel then shook hands and looked deeply in each other’s eyes and congratulated one another for what has not only been a huge accomplishment for the boy’s but also a huge accomplishment for the men. They then parted ways and went into their separate homes with their wives for a delightful night’s rest. As for the kids, Malcom and Randy crashed on the living room floor because of the exhaustion they felt after their huge night and their huge milestone.
Two weeks later it was time for the boys to go separate ways and head off to University, the boys shook hands, gave one another a bro hug and expressed their brother like feelings towards each other. As the final word was spoken, they knew they would never be too far away from each other, only 48 miles to be exact. The wives now took their mature young adults to the school’s while Daniel and Gus sat down in the garage and cracked another beer. Gus looked over to Daniel and said… “It’s about fucking time, eh?”. The garage broke out in historical laughter caused by the two gentlemen, as they leaned back, raised their feet, and continued to watch the sunset while drinking their very much so cherished Lucky® beer.
© Copyright 2016 larkinn. All rights reserved.
Short Story / Humor
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