The Sound Of Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Elizabeth is a seventeen year old ballerina who craves for success. She is the best, and a true star. But she wishes her life was extraordinary, and is taking for granted the true beauty of the simple priviledges that surrounds her until life decides to take away what it had given her.

Submitted: August 05, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 05, 2012




When I was a child, I used to talk about how extraordinary my life was going to be, but I'm not sure if I've found that yet. Everything is… so simple.

Oh, shush! Elizabeth! Hurry up, you're gonna be late for the show.

And, I'm finally here... I dance, and I feel like I’m flying. But I dance to a song that never ends. Whoa, finally, the song ends and the whole crowd stands up, clapping and screaming with joy. They’re doing it so because of me; I’m the ballerina of the show. The spotlight is on me, and I’m smiling with satisfaction.

I can distinguish my family in the public. My mom, oh, she’s so happy. She always says I’m her star.And I’m smiling; this is my moment. But suddenly, the people disappear. The silence reigns and the lights go off.

I am left alone, in the theater.

What is happening? I’m falling again, and I’m cold. I can’t feel my legs, I can’t move them! I can’t dance! And, everything is so tenebrous.

All of a sudden, I’m in another room. It’s a bright, white room, and I’m still dressed up as a ballerina. I don’t understand what’s happening. And I have a terrible headache. The pain goes through my whole body, I’m squealing, yelling, screaming for help, but nobody comes.

Where’s my theater? Where’s my family?

Oh, but I can hear voices at a distance. They’re getting closer… It’s my mother’s voice!
“Mom! I’m here! Please, please, please… get me out,” I cry out as I feel my eyes beginning to water, and my heart starts racing in my throat.

Her voice is in pain. She is muttering something. I know she’s been crying, I can notice in her tone.

“She looks so pale…”

“I know darling.” That’s my dad.

“Mom? Dad? I’m here!”

“Mr. and Mrs.Williams, there’s something we need to discuss.” That voice…I don’t recognize that voice.

I’m crying now, my parents can’t hear me. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand my pain. I’m somewhere in a desert, and I’m walking, still dressed up as a ballerina. I can hear their voices here, too.

“Doctor Sanders, I know what you have to say, but I believe...” the voice stopped for a second, thoughtfully, “we believe there’s still hope.”

Doctor? That’s my mom talking again.

“What is happening?” I yell in vain. I can’t see them anywhere. I feel like I’m going to fall apart. I feel that something is broken inside of me; my heart. I’m whispering now, calling my parents, my brothers…Images of my family come to my mind; my little dog Cello, my ballet teacher, my friends…

I can’t hear the voices anymore.

I’m still in this vast and immense desert, and I just keep walking for hours. Feels like days. The time is so different in here. Then, I give up and with a sigh, I start to dance. That’s the only way I can feel better and free. As I spin, I distinguish a mirror in the distance and I can see my reflection in it. I have a beautiful blue tutu with a black leotard and a pink ribbon around my waist. I smile at my reflection. But it vanishes. I wonder how long I’ve been here.

But I’m so exhausted now and I don’t want to think anymore. I lay on the arena to fall asleep, in my desert.

But when I open up my eyes, I’m in a bed. I’m in the hospital, and my mom is right by my side.

I sigh. So, this was a nightmare, I think. But I still don’t remember why I’m here. I’m just relieved to see her. I stroke her hair, and I call her, but she does not seem to notice. I get up and walk down the corridor of the hospital, I try to call the nurses, but they won’t hear me.
I panic and go back to my room. My heart stops.

I see myself, in the bed, as if I were asleep. As if I’ve never woke up. And my mom is still beside me. But, I’m older… that cannot be me. But it is me. I know myself.

I try to stay calmed, but then, I rush to the bathroom, and when I look in the mirror, there’s no reflection. But when I look down at myself, I see my body... wearing the same ballerina outfit, the same from when I was dancing before all of this happened. This is so confusing. My dad's coming. He won’t listen to me either.He wakes my mom up and hugs her. But just one thought comes to my mind: “Elizabeth I think…you’re dead.”

“No!” I scream out loud! “I can’t be… I’m still breathing, my body’s still breathing!”

I see the clock: 1:30 in the afternoon.A doctor is coming… I figure it must be Dr. Sanders. He’s carrying papers on his hands. I look upon his shoulder, I must see the date, I know I have a talent show in my school and it must be close. I gotta go to practice… but I’m here;
September 16, 2014.

I feel like fainting, but then I remember;I’m already… unconscious. It cannot be the date. I’m sure, I’m completely sure there is a mistake.It is 2008. That’s the last thing I remember, being in a ballet rehearsal for the great talent show my school was going to give. And I was the principle ballet dancer. Diego, my companion was going to pick me up for the great sauté and…I fell.

I instantly shut my thoughts. Instead, I come closer to my parents and the doctor.

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Williams, it’s been six years from the terrible accident your daughter suffered…And what I have to say it’s very difficult.”

My mom bursts into tears and my dad is holding her, I can see he’s crying too.
Suddenly, a young man comes into the room. He sees the scene and there are tears in his eyes, too.

Who is he?

“Izzy,” he says, looking at my body over the bed.

I recognize him immediately. He’s my younger brother, Josh. I want to hug my family so bad… but I can’t. I’m not crying now, I’m in shock. And now everything makes sense.

“I’m afraid that…”The doctor pauses and takes a long and quiet breath, I can tell he is hiding his pain for what comes next, “Elizabeth will never wake up from the comma.”

His words are like a fine and sharp sword. My mom is crying so hard it feels like she is being stabbed. My dad goes out of the room and my brother is the one holding my mom, as the tears stream down his face.

The scene is heartbreaking. I go and look for my dad…And I find him in a solitary corner. He is crying.And he is so angry at the same time; he punches the wall several times.I go and hug him, even if it is in vain and he doesn’t feel a thing.

“I love you dad,” I say and tears are in my eyes now. He, suddenly, calms down.

“Izzy… I love you too.” He says gently, as if he could really feel me or see me by his side.

My relationship with my dad was really hard to understand. I never really got to talk with him, he wasn’t the kind of person that showed his feelings. And we were the same. My mom was the sensible one.

For a moment it’s all fuzzy and dark, and I’m back in the room again. Everyone is reunited to say goodbye to me. I’ve come to accept it.I was just seventeen when I was doing one of the best dances I’ve ever done with my favorite song. I was in a dream. And then, for some reason, I fell down. And that was it. It was stupid, but that was the reason I was here.

The joke was on me. It is a reason to be angry, sad and frustrated in life. I can’t blame my father for his anger, or my mom for sobbing. I can’t blame them for blaming and cursing this life.

But, I don’t need a reason to be angry. I’ve been in a comma for six years now, and this is the end. And I’m accepting it. Seventeen years are enough for me…well, in this case twenty three.

My parents are left alone with me in the room. I’m next to the window, seeing them looking at me. And my mom starts to sing. I know the song. It was the one playing when I had my last dance. My dad is singing, too. And I’m just mesmerized by their voices.

But, all of a sudden, I’m going backwards. I’m in the desert again, I can still hear their voices. I know they won’t hear me, but I try to call them again. Then, I’m in a bright white room. Everything is moving, the floor, the walls. And I’m back at the theater. The people is there too. And a beautiful song is playing in the background. I see my family, smiling at me. I look down at myself, sigh, and I start dancing. I turn around, and spin, and spin until I fall down.

But this time, in the hospital room again. And I’m not beside the window, I’m lying on the bed, feeling the gentle touch of my mother’s arm on my hair. And I wake up.

Silence…I cannot hear anything. But I know I’m alive. I’m back again. And my mom is laughing a crying at the same time.My dad, I can read his mouth. He’s calling everybody.
Dr. Sanders comes, and he is in shock, then the nurses. Suddenly, half of the hospital is inside my room. My little brother is beside me, hugging me. But I can’t hear them. I just can see them.

I'm twenty three years old, of those I've lived only seventeen. That simple accident took away six years of my life, I know. In those years, I could hear the voices of my family, but I couldn't see them. Now I see them, but I'm deaf. And probably I will always be. But now I know how extraordinary my life really is. I may not hear the music when I dance, but I can feel my heart beating and that's all I need; to always be the shining star and a gift from life.

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