Poem by: LauraMarieAlways
Submitted: December 28, 2012
© Copyright 2016 LauraMarieAlways. All rights reserved.
I like it a lot, especially this part
"the music still blares on to down out the sound of this battle within" it's amazing, and meaningful :D
Thank you very much ^^~Laura
and I fall, and I fall, and I fall...
:) Haha, I guess you like the poem then?
Yeah, that is my favorite line, I prefer novels over poetry though.
Oh, thanks. :)
i like how it starts out slow but then speeds up to culminate in this powerful way... i like how it ends with frustration
Pretty good, the final line i believe is a cut off to the flow of the poem, but otherwise it flows well and is a good read. Nice job!
"the patterns on this notebook are distracting me" i like this line and the line that comes before it. it has pretty good flow, especially the end with the repetition of "fall." just perhaps clean up the look of it? (Capitalize the I's - i know poetry doesn't follow conventional grammar rules. and maybe create more than one stanza - block text is rough on the eyes) overall well done :)
Thank you for your suggestions.
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