Uncomfortably Numb

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

A personal account of my experience of 'getting over' a long-term relationship.

I have come to the conclusion, after many long nights (often drunk) of staring at beloved photo's on Facebook, listening to reminiscent songs, rethinking petty arguments and remembering those bittersweet kisses..that getting over someone is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. It's cruel really, that you have to get over someone. You have to endure the pain which is initially, in my experience, like being (what I'd imagine) hit square in the chest by a cement slab. The blow renders you stunned, breathless. Then the pain sets in. Like a scalpel, slowly twisting into your very heart. Your body will not, cannot, fight back. You have no choice but to feel your essence seep out of you, but not before it begins to poison your mind, ensuring that you are left with very little sanity, forcing you to cling desperately to the embers of who you once were..those happy memories, those little traditions, the traces of your smiles. When your heart is broken, you die. Not physically, no, but mentally, emotionally...the effects of such a damage cannot be measured. Some say the initial shock and sting as your heart shatters is what hurts the most. I disagree. The emptiness. Your hollow mind. The memories on never-ending repeat. That shit hurts. The moment you actually laugh or smile again..but then you remember them..and your world re-crumbles. It's like trying to build a house on a flood-plane. It's stable for some time, but it's not permanent, no matter how solid you think your walls are. When you see them out with someone else, you shatter all over again. You cry. You scream. You hurt. No answers come. Your friends and family get annoyed that you aren't moving on. How are you supposed to move on when your reason for life has cast you aside, eliminating you and your existence? Quintessentially, you're mourning your life. The life you had, loved, and will never get back. The greatest cruelty is knowing that despite all the promises, they lied to you. They knowingly issued the hemlock to you, and they watched as their deed rendered you more dead than alive. A numb, uncaring, broken shell of your former self. This betrayal of trust, no matter how you reassure yourself, will never allow you to trust anyone again. Never.


Submitted: December 08, 2014

© Copyright 2021 LaurenAH2545. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Casper Lasha Freed

I can relate to this so much. I found tears slowly descending to the corners of my eyes. For me, this was heartfelt.

Mon, December 8th, 2014 5:32pm

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Ah thank you Lasha! I wrote this a few months back, but only had the confidence to post it today. I'm glad you took the time to read it and that it seemingly spoke to you x

Mon, December 8th, 2014 6:41pm

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