To be loved - not lost.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
a young girl so desperate for love she would care to delude herself into a delusion, but what could cause this?

Submitted: February 18, 2012

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Submitted: February 18, 2012

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So desperate was she for love that she took it upon herself to make sure she was available to mans greatest needs. £20 an hour, cheaper than the average rate. Some had no choice, some so desperate for drugs this was there only form of income, only a few like her. She longed to be wanted, to be cherished and cared for, for a man to protect and hold her in his embrace, living in her fantasy world, oblivious to truth.

 Oblivious to the stains on her unwashed clothes, or the grease coating her hair. Oblivious to the ladder stretching from her knee to her thigh in her old tights. Oblivious to the lipstick she had so carelessly smudged onto her face, or the faint smell or body odour harshly masked with a cheap perfume. She was helpless, and alone, but all the while she lived in her fantasy world, where everything was perfect, and her life was like a rollercoaster, full of adventure and excitement. In her mind, when she saw herself she observed a modest young woman, with well conditioned hair and large fully rouged lips, she saw someone with smart attire, with a hint of that end of the day messiness. Delusion.

Delusion was a big part of her life, it kept her strong, supported her ability to keep going. Sometimes she would falter, receive a small glimpse of the truth, but push it to the back of her mind, fulfill her longing - to be loved. But what had happen to this young girl, this poor hopeless lost little girl, to leave her in this state, to leave her in hotel rooms late at night with strange men and solitary tears she could find no reason for? Could it be lack of love, or a traumatic event in her life, could it be a physiological disorder or the lack of faith in her life? Maybe it was just a choice she made a long time ago, to be loved - not lost.


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