A Miracle I Didn't Deserve

Short Story by: lauricula

Summary

Another short story inspired by my boyfriend.

Content

Submitted: November 15, 2012

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: November 15, 2012

A A A

A A A


 

“Do whatever you want! I don’t care, I really don’t!” I yelled into the phone, slamming my fist down on my bed.

“Okay. Fine, I’m sorry. I’ll let you go. I love you.” His voice was soft on the other end of the phone.

I hung up the phone without saying I love you too, and regretted it immediately. I thought about calling him back but decided against it. I’d have to say more than “I love you too” and to be honest, I sucked at apologies.

I sighed and thought about how mean I had been. How mean I always am to him. If I’m completely honest, the times when he doesn’t deserve it is when I’m the meanest. I can’t even begin to understand it. I don’t know why he’s with me, I truly don’t. I give him attitude all the time, I get mad at him for the silliest things, and I don’t even say sorry. He deserves someone so much better.

It’s not that I don’t love him, because I do. I love him with everything in me. He’s my best friend, my heart aches when he’s not with me. I just…when I’m angry I treat him like shit. Maybe I have anger issues…maybe that’s the explanation. Or you’re just a shitty person. A voice in my head says.

“Oh shut up.” I tell it.

My phone vibrates and I look at it. It’s a text from him and I hesitate to open it. I couldn’t tell you why honestly. I always hesitate to open his texts after we argue.

I’m sorry, really I am. I love you baby.

This should calm me down, but instead it makes me angrier. I know he means these words, and I know he doesn’t want to fight anymore. He’s just such a wonderful person all the time, and I’m not, and it makes me angry. Tears are forming in my eyes now, and I throw my phone away from me. I won’t answer him right away. I need time to calm down.

If he’s such a wonderful person, then why am I so mean to him? Because you’re a terrible girlfriend, that’s why. This time I don’t tell the voice to shut up, because I know it’s right. I am a terrible girlfriend. It’s moments like these when I really hate myself.

I let the tears fall, and they fall fast. I curl up underneath my blankets and bury my face in the pillow. He treats me like a princess and I treat him like he’s dirt. I apologize to him in a thousand times in my head, as if he can hear me. I let out a choked sob and realize he’s a miracle that I got blessed but didn’t deserve.


© Copyright 2016 lauricula. All rights reserved.

A Miracle I Didn't Deserve A Miracle I Didn't Deserve

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Houses:

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Houses:

Summary

Another short story inspired by my boyfriend.
Add picture

Paste the link to picture in the entry below:

— or —

Drag a picture from your file manager into this box,
or click to select.

Add video

Paste the link to Youtube video in the following entry:

Existing Comments:
Bad selection

Cannot annotate a non-flat selection. Make sure your selection starts and ends within the same node.

(example of bad selection): This is bold text and this is normal text.
(example of good selection): This is bold text and this is normal text.
Bad selection

An annotation cannot contain another annotation.

Anonymous
Really delete this comment?
Anonymous
Really delete this comment?

There was an error uploading your file.


    
Anonymous