Sometimes love doesn’t always make sense. When you hear of love in the media, or in movies, it looks so appealing. When you hear of love you think of hugs and kisses, falling asleep together, going on dates. But what about the other side to love?
When you love someone, you love all of their imperfections and shining qualities. You love that they snore too loudly even if it keeps you up at night. You love that they care too much when it drives you insane. You love the pimples that they hate. You love the scars they’ve inflicted on themselves. You love their hip bones that protrude slightly, and the faintest outline of their abs. You love the way they hug you so tight you can’t breathe, and the way they trail kisses down your neck. You love their compassion and loyalty.
You love the way their brow furrows when you two argue. You love the way their eyes crinkle when they laugh loudly. You love the look of sadness you’ve come to know so well. You love the way their arm wraps around you at four thirty in the morning to pull you close. You love the way their rough hands feel against your skin. You love it all because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t love them, you would just parts of them.
The one you love should be treated with respect, honesty and love. But what do you do when treating them right feels like a task? A chore, if you will? What do you do when your heart screams you love them more than anything in this world, and your brain retorts with they’re not worth the effort. This war arises in you, and suddenly, listening to your heart seems much more difficult than when we were five.
You want to give this person everything they deserve; happiness, love, hope. You want to see them succeed and help them in any way possible. You want to stay by their side, and support them through tough times. You want to do it all, but something in your brain is holding you back.
So you become angry and frustrated with yourself and everyone around you. You don’t want to talk to anyone or put effort into any of your relationships. Your heart cries and screams and pleads with your brain until you yourself are exhausted, and worn out. It takes more out of you than anyone realizes, so you’re stuck.
But your heart still beats with love and passion; it’s not giving up. It refuses. It knows that it loves you, more than anything, and that’s why it’s going to continue fighting. It marches up to your brain and tells it firmly that we’re not giving up; we’re not going to stop trying. You’ve worked too hard and come too far to give up now.
And at last, your brain admits defeat. It doesn’t argue or yell this time. It hangs its head and agrees to keep going. Your heart smiles and relishes in its victory. And finally, the person you love is finally seen as just that. No longer a chore, or just another person, but the person you fell in love with.
They are once again the person who held you all the times you’ve cried, and the person who made you laugh even when you didn’t want to. They’re the person who was ready to defend you at any given moment, and the one who gave you the strength to carry on when you had every reason not to. They’re the person who opened your eyes to just how beautiful you are. They’re the person who made you hate yourself a little less and love yourself a little more.
And in thinking all of this, you realize, they never stopped being that person, you just needed to remind yourself.
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