Pouring my heart out to God.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic
ive been upset and just needed to get this out of me. So bear with the poem if your offened by reading this. thanks

Submitted: November 15, 2007

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Submitted: November 15, 2007

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My heart aches when im in my dry season
my gifts not going too well
not wanting to do anything but just wanting to die

I pray and pray asking take it away
but i feel like im not getting an answer
I feel so weak God and breaking down really bad

The only thing that is coming to my mind at this moment
is cutting myself really bad
and that will just cure me from feeling all this pain

I just keep thinking why you doing this
you was there for me when all the stuff happened to me
but now i give my life over to you
and now i feel a lot worse

All of the stuff in the past i got over and didnt cut myself as much
as i do now
Thats all going through my mind
and then i screw things up and im not a nobody and think i should just kill myself and get it over

i just think thats the only thing i can think of
cuz im just giving parents grief and just need to do something and i cant
im just a failure and can never be anything

why bother getting up each day and trying if im just going to be knocked off and get no where
why why why
God can you hear me? Im crying out to you and it feels like you left me

like ive disappointed you..which i probably have
but the only one in this world that gives a crap about me is YOU
you are the only one there for me and got me out of all that stuff
and now it feels like your no where near me
like i have to do all this on my own

just wandering around on a path that is not mine
and i feel like a zombie... dont know what to do
all i can do is cry to you
and pray and read the bible
but it still feel like you just left me.

If i did disappoint you im greatly sorry God
i love you with all my heart
words can not express my love you too
your the only one that understands me and now i dont know what to do

Please God give me the strenght through this dry season of mine
lift my spirit back up
please let me know you are with me.

I love you with all my heart God.
thank you for everything you have done for me and will be doing in the future. Amen.


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