I want to talk to the guys out there today. So all you ladies please hang up. ………Now that we are alone the delicate subject is Erectile Dysfunction. Yes E.D.. This has NEVER happened to me and I am sure none of you have ever experienced this fairy tale either but your neighbor has. I see advertisements on TV for a blue pill that will take care of this problem. They want you to call a Doctor if the new pill causes your JOHNSON to stand at attention for four hours or more. I think any male on the planet whose JOHNSON stood at attention for this amount of time, would be BRAGGING! And Proud! Oh my, yes. He would be so proud he would want to tell & SHOW every one of his buddies. Not be calling a Doctor to get rid of the issue.
“Hey George, Guess what?”
“Yes, I know it’s the middle of the night, but you just gotta hear this.”
“Yea I know the time. I tried one of those new blue pills you recommended. That was two hours ago and it’s still good! Want to see it?”
“What? Is that a ‘no’? Do you think Ray would like to see it?”
“What you mean ‘hell no?’ Just because you live across town is no reason not to see it. You’d be as proud as I am. I’d come over to see yours if you lasted this long.”
“Hey, No need to call me a sick SOB!”
“Yep, Johnson is stiff as a board. I could hold up a brick with it. Wait a sec.”
Yells to wife—“Honey, want to go another round?”
“George, gotta hang up. She said yes. I’ll let you know when four hours have pasted. Hey, George should I takes pics?”
George slams the phone down.
Two hours later.
“Hey George. Guess how long it’s been now?”
“Yea, I know what time it is.”
“Hell no, not calling a Doctor. However my back is killing me. Going to keep this thing going. Most fun the wife and I have had in years. Gotta go George. I’m feeling a little faint. I can hardly walk. Heart thumping away. George, my Johnson is numb. It hurts and its turning blue-green. Tell me something George, what color is gangrene?”
Well…. maybe a Doctor is a good idea.
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Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Flash Fiction
Short Story / Humor
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