Today, I Die

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just read it *winks idiotically like a dog on crack*

Submitted: September 13, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 13, 2012

A A A

A A A


Today, I die

F

or weeks I’ve been told today was the last day.

Today, we’re going die, we’re not ready.

We’ve been told you’re going to wake up briefly, I’ve been told I have to be there, that it’ll be good to say good bye but won’t that make it harder?.

Having to say goodbye? Having so little time to do so?

Seeing you just go, it’s going to tear me apart piece by piece. But I have to be there, I can’t let you down.

 

 

I wake up to sunshine pouring in my window and it just feels wrong somehow, like something from a whole other world.

I had just been sleeping for half an hour, after my letter to you at midnight I couldn’t sleep but half an hour ago I finally drifted off.

Soon I’m going to leaving for school, everyone tells me I should be at school to be around people, allow them to help me but I would rather be with you.

 

I’m at school now, its lunch time.

I’ve barely eaten and I can see your mates on the other side of the cafe.

Its odd seeing them, I kind of expect you to be there, laughing and smiling as always, being a clown, just being you.

Nate is sitting down, listlessly staring into the air in front of him, Sam is perched on the edge of the table, he’s also staring into space while your closet friend out of all three of them, King, is lying on the bench, I think he’s talking but I can’t hear what he’s saying.

The whole school is as quiet as a grave.

Everyone’s gone into mourning, it’s been like this for a few days now, before that they at least had a little hope but now that’s gone to.

Anyone could easily cut through the tension and grief in here with a knife; it’s just that thick, hanging around everyone like a dark rain cloud.

The bell rings and no one moves, the bells only a way of telling everyone that he’ll be dead within five hours.

Slowly I stand; eyes swivel to look at me, desperately seeking my attention, all wanting to say the same thing: how do you go on?

I robotically walk to the exit doors, noting a few other people slowly standing, most with tears in their eyes, today not even the guys are ashamed to admit their crying, you’re dying and everyone’s crying.

I reach my classroom, its maths this period.

My hand goes for the doorknob but my feet are taking me elsewhere.

At the hospital I see your Mum, she wraps her arms around me ‘I was about to call you, they say he’ll be gone sooner.

We both walk into your room, your lying on the bed, still and pale.

Dr Hathaway walks in ‘are you ready?’

I nod sorrowfully to your Mum; she reaches for the button to turn off the life support.

You awake with a gasp, your eyes frantically seek me out.

I step forward and take your hand ‘I’m here’ I murmur.

You close your eyes again ‘love you’ your voice is quiet and barely there but I hear you.

The heart monitor makes a long solitary beep before falling silent.

I cover my eyes with both hands and start to sob uncontrollably, your Mum is wrapping both arms around me and then we’re both crying.

I’m already flashing through our life.

All the days we spent in my attic, the nights in your houses lounge with your mum just talking quietly about life.

It’s all gone now, never to happen again and I remember your last words.

Love you.

 


© Copyright 2017 Leah Hails. All rights reserved.

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