Dearest Dad

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
When you just want to clear your head sometimes a letter is all that is needed even if you never mail it!

Submitted: June 22, 2015

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Submitted: June 22, 2015



Dear Dad, since you don’t even care


Thank you for not really being there


Thank you for not pretending


And not showing fake feelings


Cause even tho dealing with it has caused me a lot of grief


I have now found an inner peace


That came about when I discovered you weren’t worth any of my tears


And that I alone can conquer all of my fears


So many days I wondered why I wasn’t good enough for you to love


And I searched thru many men hoping to discover what love really was


Looking in the wrong places


And being misled by lying faces


Caused me to feel lower that dirt


Took many years to find my worth


Just realized I’m not filthy, unworthy or dirty


I’m scarred, but no longer bitter, and maybe just a little bit thirsty


Thirsty as in curious to know why you are the way that you are


And how could your conscious even let you make it this far


Knowing you hurt all of those who you GOD gave you


If you were on fire I wonder would I save you


But I know I would


I would never want to be any of you at all if I could


You weren’t even changed a little by death


How do you live with yourself?


You talk about us all like you did all you could


Knowing that’s a lie but you took care of your lovers and their children really good


I have no respect for you


There’s nothing left to say or do


I have tried my best to forgive


But I realize you will be the way you are as long as you live


I’ve prayed to GOD to remove all of this hate


But unfortunately I’m stubborn like you so I’ll just deal with my own fate


I don’t like the person you are and I know I’m wrong


But if I admit it still hurts then I would no longer be strong


And I will never be weak for you again


And my heart can never let you back in


You stomped on it so many times


To love you again I’d be out my mind


Wish I hadn’t spent all of these years believing


You’d be who I wanted you to be and grieving


One day GOD will allow you to see what you’ve done


Maybe it won’t be until you are lying in a dark place unable to see the sun


I hope and pray I don’t meet you there


That wouldn’t be even be fair


Cause even tho you made my heart turn cold


I can’t live this way until I’m too old


Too old to change and too late to try to care


But that’s a burden you will someday bear

© Copyright 2019 Cindy Dancy. All rights reserved.

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