Don't Let it Be

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

well, this is a struggle of discovering truth and having no control over it.

Hope waits

In distant whispers

of utter need.

"there goes the life", Taunts the grief.

Behind my eyes

Tears dispel.

I rage, I scream, I angrily cry....

How can this be?

Such a day, such saddness and sorrow.

What have I done, as

This deep darkened weight is resting,

Choosing me.

Just, don't let it be so.

As if I haven't sacrificed enough

Is this the prize?

When my soul has given and my energy wasted

For no ones glory

What Else?!

What else do you want from me?


Submitted: February 22, 2007

© Copyright 2022 leesah. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Nick Dwyer

"This deep darkened weight is resting,

Choosing me."

Is brutal and honest about what we perceive
as your illness. It is also finely poetic.But I would beware the next sentiment...

"As if I haven't sacrificed enough

Is this the prize?"

... as it invites pity, which I don't think is what you intend?

Strong poetry that ably takes up Robert Frost's challenge in your bio. I like it.



Fri, February 23rd, 2007 3:05pm

Author
Reply

Yeah, I was skeptic about that line. Maybe a better replacement would suffice. Thank you so much Nick for your input, I can always count on you for honesty and constructive critism..that I really appreciate! Sending you good vibes:)

Sat, February 24th, 2007 3:54pm

Methelusa

Really enjoyed this, abstract yet to the point, and allowec me make the sentiments universal, which I believe may have been the intention.

Sat, February 24th, 2007 4:37pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for the comment, I appreciate you reading!

Sat, February 24th, 2007 3:49pm

Adelaide Lawrence

this wasn't really sad, just exasperated and frustrated. I liked it. Good style. I could feel what you were feeling when you wrote this poem. Keep it up.

Sat, April 7th, 2007 7:26pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for taking the time to read my stuff....I really appreciate the comment Adelaide!

Sat, April 7th, 2007 2:16pm

Tesseth

"This deep darkened weight is resting,
Choosing me."

Yea, Nick picked that quote in his comment too... I couldn't resist -- that was the one I was going to pick anyway!

AND as far as his comment to this line:
"As if I haven't sacrificed enough
Is this the prize?"

I so understand where you were coming from with that one (your circumstances)! Actually it was the one that moved ME the VERY most (MY circumstances)! Because I get it, I feel it, I live it... not a line of "pity" --- a line of exasperation --- I don't deserve this!

Well, that's my take :)

Wonderful leesah --- this one truly touched me.

Take care,
Tesseth/Stevie

Sat, October 20th, 2007 5:30pm

Author
Reply

You and I see eye to eye on this, and thanks, this was an old one....who knows where Nick went..he's like no where to be found, miss his comments though. Anyhoo darlin, thanks again ....keep writing, keep sharing your talent:)

love,
~leesah

Sat, October 20th, 2007 2:00pm

Pratibha

Just, don't let it be so.

As if I haven't sacrificed enough

Is this the prize?

When my soul has given and my energy wasted

For no ones glory

What Else?!

What else do you want from me?

I gave searching for this answer....i cried so much that one fine day, i realised that i have no tears left....none...but no smile either...

What did i do? Where did i go wrong? etc etc etc ....so many questions like meteors bombarding my mind and robbing me of all peace ....

Then, one day i was enlightened to the fact that -
" I won't give up" just as u have so delicately highlighted here...

All ur poems are as if they r for your "READERs'" as if u r inside our minds.....

voted for it, effortlessly....it doesnot deserve less than million 'i like it" s

Keep me informed about all ur posts ...PLEASE..

Thu, August 14th, 2008 4:00am

Willie N Small

"Hope waits in distant whispers of utter need" That is all I needed to feel you in this piece. I wanted to scream "F@$k you hope !! F@$k you !! … F@$k hope. Grief is but a bed fellow I have I have slept with to many times. I have grown old with. Numb to it all I want to suffocate on this emotion and smile on my way out." Great job bringing describing color to the blind I like it.

Thu, February 7th, 2019 2:49am

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