My Echo

So, let’s just get this out there, I’m gay. Well mostly. I’m actually this thing called pansexual; it means I only care about the inside of a person; I don’t care about any physical features. But, usually, I don’t date girls cause I like the feeling of having a person that can wrap their arms around me and I can feel comforted. 

I usually only date girls because I’m a pleaser and like to make people happy. I don’t usually date them cause I want to.  I’ve found an exception to that rule.

For this I’ll call her Echo. She is beautiful, kind, sweet, and she treats me better than anyone I’ve ever met. And she is also the only person I ever have dated that has been completely faithful. But the problems are; our ages, my parents, and the distance between us.

 I’m a fifteen-year-old and she’s twelve. We have 3 years and 25 day difference in our age. But with my pansexualism I can’t see that as a barrier, physical age dose not appear to me, only emotional and mental, and she is very mature.  But this has aroused conflict in our families.

In her family it has been resolved, they have met me and they are happy with me despite the age difference. But my family has resentment towards her.

My mom has never met her and neither has my mom’s fiancée, but my mom still has problem with her. I understand the hesitance she has with me dating a younger girl; she’s slightly worried for legal reasons.  But I’m sure what she is really resentful about is I’m choosing Echo over my ex(who I’m going to call Samantha). My mom has grown a close relationship with Samantha while I was in treatment, so she resents any girl I date besides her. But Samantha has screwed me over several times and I want nothing to do with her, so throughout my relationships with guys and girls the last couple years my mom has done everything her power to ruin them. But I won’t let her ruin me and Echo.

The other reason we have troubles is we live about an hour and a half away from each other, about 90 miles. So we hardly get to see each other, we’ve been dating for 6 months on the 30^th of April, 2012 and I’ve only ever met her twice. I am not one for an overly sexual relationship; I know I don’t want to have sex yet. I don’t mind waiting for the sexual part of a relationship, but I do like being able to cuddle and to hug the ones I love. But also, because of how many times I’ve been hurt, I have paranoia. So having to not see her makes me feel like she could do things behind my back. I know that she never would do that to me though so usually that it’s resolved quickly.

I am really trying hard to make my family okay with us; she means the world to me. I never thought I could care about a girl as much as I do Echo.