Pain is inevitable; we can hide behind the biggest boulder, but underneath it all still, our broken hearts bleed. I was once a person who jumped from rock to rock to hide from pain (like it was a game of tag.) No matter how hard I tried to hide from pain I never really could, because pain is a ghost that haunted me. My once constant optimism was slowly breaking with the barrier to hide behind. Eventually like the Berlin wall all that was left was rubble. The final blow was delivered on September 13, 2006, when the sirens screamed up my godforsaken driveway. Two policemen and a Psychoanalyst stepped out of the car and slowly approached my door. Ring. My father opened the door and the cop's expression told him everything. My aunt and my cousin were found in their car burned beyond recognition, each of them had a small caliber bullet in her head. Soon after the police found the body of my uncle, who appeared to have commited suicide. In his possession they found a tape that was his final declaration of the guilt of his actions. He had killed them. This blow was enough to completely knock me off my feet and directly on to my back, and in the process change my life forever. Our whole family bled in anger and infinate meloncholly, but me, well I slipped into a fog, a thick fog, I thought I would never escape. It took almost a year for the truth to sink in. My grades began to slip, then my attitude, then everything fell. I became friends with a spiritual man who repeatly asked me to go to his youth group; Finally, I agreed. That night I realized that I wasn't alone, I had God on my side. After that night I began to realize that I was not mad at my uncle, I was mad at me. Questions began swarm around in my head like bees circling a flower; How have I made a differance in the lives of others? What if that was me laying six feet below the cold hard surface of the ground? With questions came answers, where once i laughed a the new kid who had just dropped his books, I helped him retreave them. Then like a curtian, the fog fell to reveal; an open book. A book just waiting to be writen by me. Life is my canvas, I got a second chance to change someone's life so that I can remembered in the hearts of people everywhere not just envaporate into the air.
© Copyright 2016 Leinad Remlu. All rights reserved.
Poem / Poetry
Essay / Memoir
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