fear in anew

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
being replused by something........

Submitted: June 02, 2008

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Submitted: June 02, 2008

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I felt fear grip me. I was paralyzed by my own fears come true. Or maybe it was revulsion.

What I saw was enough to make anyone want to turn and look away, pretend they never saw it.

This "it" I saw was myself for what I really was:

a poor, mean, lonely girl who wanted nothing more than to feel loved

and feel as if someone understood her.

I saw myslef and I wanted to smash the mirror into a million pieces

so I could keep pretending that everything was ok.

That I was ok.

I wanted to redraw myself. Like an etch-a-sketch, if I make a mistake, I could just erase it and try again.

But I can't do that, I'm in the real world.

I can only be me.

I have to reshape myslef gradually, because,

it takes time.

I feel as if I'm losing time

and soon,

I'll loose myself completely.

I won't remeber who I am,

I'll be nothing.

And if I'm nothing, how will  I be loved?

I'll always be sad, defeated, and alone.

Trapped inside my own fantasy.

Desperately trying to hold onto reality.


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