The Devil on G String: The First Movement

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic

"Is this about God....or maybe it's about the Devil?"

A serial killer - who kills other serial killers, leaving a popular piece of classical music playing at each crime scene. The city hails the mysterious "Devil" as a hero, but the police department is determined to catch him at any cost.

This is Chapter One of my short story. Please excuse the formatting issues in the last paragraph or so...Read and (hopefully) enjoy! :D

The Devil on G String

The First Movement

Bathed in the soft warm glow of the setting sun, the man suddenly knew he was destined to die by the end of the night. The harsh ropes burned relentlessly across his wrists as he struggled in one final futile attempt to free his hands, adding on to the ugly rope burns that marred his skin.

A shadow fell across the doorway of the room he was in. A footfall, and then silence.

The Devil had returned.

Like a rabbit caught in a deadly trap, he struggled even more desperately, kicking and yelling bloody murder, rocking the chair he was tied to back and forth. But it was useless – that extra burst of energy wasn’t going to get him anywhere, especially not when the ropes were triple knotted, with an extra layer of cord tied around them.

As the man continued his pitiful attempt at escape, the Devil waltzed nearly effortlessly across the room to the antique gramophone nearby, and caressed it lovingly before putting a record on play.

Silence at first – then the old gramophone got to work, resurrecting the long forgotten piece that was embedded within the record. Siren strains of classical music wafted from the gramophone head, shrouding the room in an ephemeral cloak of nostalgia. The bound man exerted even more effort, eyes wide with pure undiluted fear as the soothing classical music surrounded him.

The Devil started to move in towards him.

The bound man was nearly sobbing now, his entire frame spasming as his bloodied wrists scraped uselessly against the crimson stained rope.

“I’m sorry, I really am! I know what I did wrong, I won’t do it again, she was the last one, I didn’t even hurt them that much! I won’t ever do it again, please you can watch me, see that I’m not lying, just don’t kill me PLEASE!” he begged as the Devil finally reached him.

“Shhh…..” the Devil murmured, leaning in close to the man, like a mother comforting her distressed child.

Soft whispers, low murmurs, hushed words…and then their little tête-à-tête was done.

The bound man was still sobbing, but this time with relief. The first thing he would do when he completed his end of the deal was to get out of this damn town, find some remote country house and stay there for the rest of his life. Get a shotgun, rear livestock, watch TV – that was the ONLY thing he was ever going to ----

As the hypodermic syringe emptied its contents into the man’s thigh, the Devil smiled.

The stage was set.


Submitted: November 10, 2012

© Copyright 2021 Leo Cantus. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Tizavi

Wow I just read these two in the complete wrong order... Oh well. Just as good. Awesome! Love it!

Sat, November 10th, 2012 6:17pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! I won't say too much, this is only the beginnning of the series, I plan for it to get much more interesting as the chapters proceed, so do stay tuned!

Sat, November 10th, 2012 4:52pm

DelsieD

Oh my, what to say, what to say. Hm, this was... so good, I can't even think of the right words to describe it. Very vivid, I must say I felt like I was watching the whole scene play out right in front of me, and very, very intriguing. You did a wonderful job on making the reader want to continue. You gave enough to get me interested and then withheld enough to make me want more. So good job! I can't really see where this is going, but I can't wait to find out.

Sun, November 11th, 2012 4:33am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, I feel kinda validated. If my writing can give at least one person that immersive experience, then it's all worth it :)

Sat, November 10th, 2012 10:43pm

Katniss

Serial killer that kills Serial killers? Hmm, It would be a little ironic if he or she would have to kill themself at the end. XD

Mon, November 12th, 2012 1:01pm

Author
Reply

Haha...nah, this killer is not one for remorse o.o

Mon, November 12th, 2012 5:15am

Anonymouss

Wow this was an awesome read. I'll definitely read the rest! Have you by any chance watched Dexter?

Mon, November 12th, 2012 10:44pm

Author
Reply

Nope, but I've heard the premise is somewhat identical...except in my story, the killer is nothing like Dexter (emotionally or otherwise). Thank you for your compliment! :D

Mon, November 12th, 2012 4:08pm

Squeamish

So interesting! =U I'll definitely be reading more of this, can't wait to see some crazy twists and ingenius plots =P keep it up!

Tue, November 13th, 2012 8:02am

Author
Reply

Thank you Squeam!(Hehe can I call you that?)Crazy twists and plots will abound aplenty @.@

I'm still waiting for the first part of your Chronicles of (Your preferred name) World! Can't wait to read it :)

Tue, November 13th, 2012 3:21am

Prytaniax

Hmm. Very attention grabbing, I like it. Your use of descriptive words is really nice. :) I will definitely keep reading this series.

Fri, November 16th, 2012 6:12pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! :D

Fri, November 16th, 2012 6:01pm

laelmor

Love it! Keeps me interested, nice job.

Sat, November 17th, 2012 3:20pm

Author
Reply

Thank you :)

Sat, November 17th, 2012 7:23am

Cody S. D. Crum

Not too bad. I'm off to the next chapter, see what happens next. Trying to decide if the Devil is actually The Devil, or someone that man is simply calling a Devil.
Well writ.

Sat, November 17th, 2012 11:29pm

Author
Reply

Thank you :)

Sat, November 17th, 2012 6:22pm

Hayate

It's really good. Kind of reminds me of DeathNote in a way.

Sun, November 18th, 2012 6:59pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much :)

Mon, November 19th, 2012 12:11am

AellaRen

I love the last line of this, fantastic! Also, I like the idea of the Devil waltzing - great descriptive wording.
I don't have too much to critique about this piece, it was really quite good. Well done!

Mon, November 19th, 2012 8:19pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much :)

Mon, November 19th, 2012 4:15pm

Asfi

Hmmmm. Great work. Seems very good. But I'm afraid isn't it matching "darkly dreaming Dexter" a bit? Oh well. You DID say it's different. So...um...great chapter. I'd like to read what happens next. KMU on your work

Thu, November 22nd, 2012 6:33am

Author
Reply

Thank you. Well I haven't actually watched the Dexter series, but after digging a bit around the internet and reading all about him I assure you that my killer and him are quite different in terms of their motivations and the way they do things. The only similarities they have are that they (a) kill other serial killers and (b) use hypodermic syringes (which isn't really a similarity anyway, as the Devil only uses the syringe to incapacitate the victim seen here, he kills the others). As the series proceeds, you'll see the distinct differences (I hope :p). Thanks again :)

Wed, November 21st, 2012 11:13pm

Sidmonster

Ohh I really like it! It's like, I'm not sure I the Devil believes he is getting justice for someone (because I the mans pleading), or if he is just plain evil. I love the setting with the movement, and the description of the man attempted escape, because I could totally see it. Danke!!

Fri, November 23rd, 2012 2:05am

Author
Reply

Thanks :)

Thu, November 22nd, 2012 8:42pm

MrV

First thing I began to think about was the title. It reminded me of the tritone and its "evil" connotation. The mention of G string of the combination of G and C-sharp (Cis), which ironically also happens to be the Japanese name for the villain Ghetsis in recent Pokémon games. Fitting for a villain, but in this case appropriately ironic with the nature of the protagonist.

Though the idea of a vigilante serial killer (Dexter) is not new, the way you presented it helped set it apart. Like Dexter Morgan, the Devil is a dedicated artist. Unlike him, The Devil is sophisticated and thespian, more like Batman. His shadow movements befitting for an emissary of darkness, and his cunning appeal shone through in this introductory vignette.

Overall, my only peeve is that the episodes are scattered as separate files. Besides that, this was entertaining and fun in a sadistic way. :)

Sat, November 24th, 2012 12:39pm

Author
Reply

Wow, thank you so much for the in depth analysis, I really appreciate it :)

Sat, November 24th, 2012 5:06am

Mikey CD

a true masterpiece, and thankfully, you have all the parts published! i thank you, kind sir.

Sun, November 25th, 2012 12:34am

Author
Reply

Thank you! Hope you enjoy :)

Sat, November 24th, 2012 6:04pm

Cnrain

Thanks for the reading request!
I thought this introduction was really cool and dark. I especially liked the use of tête-à-tête. I had no idea what it meant at first, but after I looked it up, it fits the situation very well. :]
The ending is open-ended and leaves readers what happens next, very suspenseful.

Mon, November 26th, 2012 1:05am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much :)

Sun, November 25th, 2012 6:45pm

Silhouette Akasuna

I read the title and I was kind of hesitante, BUT I really like how this is going. I also like the suspense in it and I really admire the eerie tone I can feel when reading it. Great job, gonna keep on reading ^^

Mon, November 26th, 2012 9:29pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much, uh, did you think the title's G string was ahem THAT kinda G String?? Because it's supposed to be the musical note but a lot of people get the wrong idea >

Mon, November 26th, 2012 10:11pm

DavidGrape

Intriguing!

Wed, November 28th, 2012 11:45am

Author
Reply

:)

Wed, November 28th, 2012 4:51am

Nocturnal Writer

Well written, discriptive, always keeping the reader on edge wanting to read more! Two words LOVE IT! Great job. and the ending 'the stage was set' love it. Going to go read the next chap.

Thu, November 29th, 2012 4:36pm

Author
Reply

Thank you :)

Thu, November 29th, 2012 5:49pm

Gepikwhereis

Hey there, Leo. You know what you are doing. Keep it up! Reading rest soon. :)

Tue, December 4th, 2012 6:36am

Author
Reply

Thanks :)

Mon, December 3rd, 2012 10:40pm

jiji chocolate sweet

definitely intriguing!!!! I loved the description, it made me feel the scene. And the suspence is great, you just gave the right amount to intrest the reader in the story but just enough to make him come back for more. lucky for me it's already published
off to the next chapter

Tue, December 4th, 2012 2:31pm

Author
Reply

Yay thanks :)

Tue, December 4th, 2012 11:56pm

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