Life sucks, I know a lot of people say it but its more true now for me than it ever has been. She left me; she left me for some guy who looks like a bum.I cant believe this what have I ever done to deserve such betrayal? All I ever did is love her, give her all I had and pray she felt the same. Then this I wake up to her note, she couldn’t even be bothered to tell me to my face I wasn’t like I wasted 2 years of my life or anything oh no. All I feel is anger and hollow, she left a shell of whom I once was behind. I completely changed myself to suit her, become her perfect woman now I am nothing I am not even sure who I am. I was a lover to who I thought was an amazing beautiful woman who loved like no other could, but instead I got a demon in the body of a woman.The worst part is, is that I see her everyday, with this man/boy thing that cant even keep his face clean.
The only thing keeping me remotely sane is the thought that he is far from a trade up. What does he have that I don’t? I don’t even know why I am so hung up on this. She left, I’m better off, and tonight they will see me at the club. I know my friends miss me. That was another part of being her woman losing all my friends only to be replace by people she approved of,who did not compliment me at all nor did they understand me and I’m pretty sure they didn’t like me either. But tonight the people I love, the people whom I hope still love me, I hope they can forgive my foolishness, my 2-year lapse in judgment. I ran around trying to get ready throwing random clothes on after all I wasn’t looking for a date, not after what I had just been through no way. It was 7:30 p.m. when I got there the usual time I knew my group showed up, the club doesn’t open until 9:00 but we always went to the pizza shop across the street to put food in our tummies, because the food in the club would leave you running for the ladies room every 5 minutes for weeks, and dancing with any empty stomach is never a good idea. As I walked through the doors of the pizzeria I realized how dumb it was to just walk into our old hangout with no announcement of my coming.
I walked in at first with my head held high and then I realized they were staring at me. Star was digging a hole in me with her eyes, she was my best friend or possibly my ex best friend after the recent events but there was only one way I could find out. I smiled at her, and was discouraged instantly because she didn’t return it, instead she stared at me harder. I noticed Star had a girl on her arm and when I looked closer I saw it was Danni, who last I heard was her ex and they weren’t going to try again. Now Danni had a ring on her finger then again the last news I heard of everyone was a year and a half ago when the demon told me I could no longer be around my friends, I still think leaving them for her was the worst mistake I could make. Star was staring me down, as though I was not a former friend but an enemy from childhood. Danni smiled at me but that didn’t console me, because we never truly got along it was just a mutual caring for Star that kept us from tearing each other’s throats out. For all I knew this smile was her mocking me, her laughing in my face for the friendships I had lost, more specifically the friendship of her lover that from looking at her she was sure I would not get again. Before I knew it Star was inches away form my face studying my every movement, I could tell by looking into the honey hazel eyes of hers that she was battling herself mentally, she was battling the idea of whether to welcome me or shun me forever. I could not blame her if she decided to shun me, if I were in her position I would have shunned myself a long while ago. She continued to study for what seemed like forever until, I saw the light in her eyes brighten and she hugged me with enough force to knock the breath of out me.
She was crying as she held on to me, she clung to me as if I was her life support tears spilling from her face like an overflowing river. Danni ran to her trying to comfort her but she pushed her away, growling with such force. Star buried her face into my shoulder and stayed there for at least 20 minutes before she looked up into my eyes. It was then that I realized why she had pushed Danni away it was then that I realized why Danni had a ring on her finger and why Star was the most hurt by me leaving. She loved me and she always had her eyes were like a window into her once so closed heart. Everything was so clear now; this is why she made such a big deal of showing off Danni she wanted to make me jealous she wanted to see if I cared. Then I knew Danni’s heart was about to be broken, because I was not letting this beauty get away from me again. I lifted up her chin and made her look directly into my gray blue eyes and kissed her. I let the kiss show all the emotion I had been hiding from her, the love I had for her since childhood that I couldn’t explain until our teenaged years, the love I thought would never be returned because she had called me sister.
I held on to her knowing that everyone in our group including her now ex was seeing this personal exchange between us everyone else knew that I loved her but her, I was surprised none of them had told. As the kiss broke I heard her whisper something I knew it was directed towards me but I missed it completely. \"What darling?\" \"I knew I always knew\" she hugged me again and my world was no longer dark I come see the light at the end of the tunnel but I was not racing towards it because that would mean this life would be over and I would not have had enough time with my love, there would never be enough time with her. Just then the one thing I never saw coming happened, my ex walked through the door and surprised me, the woman who kept me away form my love and everyone cared about stepped back into my life only to leave it more complicated and to torture me more, what to do now? I did not know. The demon walked over to were I stood smirking at the woman I finally called my own, her face was a mirror of jealousy why I did not know after all she ruined me.
\"So I see you have a new queen\" \" I hardly had a queen before, a queen of demons maybe\" she smiled at my insult, which was odd but I stood my ground. \"Queen of demons? I am kind of fond of that nickname, James come on in\" James could have only been one person, the man-child who she went after and left me in the dark. \"You have the nerve to bring him here?\" \"He’s mine and I can go where I like\" \"I use to love that accent of ours now it just makes me sick\" \"oh well get sick then\" Star was almost shaking with anger in my arms, I could see the glint in her eye she wanted blood, she wanted her blood to run for taking me from her, for hurting me, and ruining a moment so sweet for her own pleasure. Star tried to get out of my grasp to wrench towards her. \"Lenri get out of here, you have no business in her\" \"awe is your little pet angry does she need a treat?\" \" Get out now or I will let her go and she will hurt you\" \"let her go then, I’m ready\" I stared at Lenri in shock and did as she asked, Star lurched forward and was on her before anyone saw it coming. Star tore her part, her face was a piece of pounded meat before me and Sandra pulled her off figuring it was enough.
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Lenri remained laying on the floor bleeding on the white tile floor, completely dazed. James stared down at his slave master unsure of what to do since obviously she was what helped his mind function. she truly was raising a man child. Star thrashed in my arms wanting to caused more pain. I couldn't let her kill. She wanted to her body was tensed to carryout the action. I pressed my mouth her ear. \"Darling calm down. She's no threat to you, me or our budding relationship. everything is fine.\" She shuddered and then slumped in my arms, relaxed. Turning to face me, she buried her face into the crook of my neck an sighed deeply. Slowly i felt the calm come over her. She pulled away from me kicked Lenri's limp form squared in the head and walked out the door and to the entrance of the climb, leaning against the wall and staring back and the pizzeria waiting for us to finish our business and join her.
I watched as Danni walked over to James whacked him across the head hard enough for it to echo throughout the room looked him directly in the eye and said in a stern voice. \"Now young man collect your trash and leave. You and your demonic soul arent allowed to enter this place from here on out. Understood?\" James shook his head quickly the fear in his eyes shining through. Danni raised her voice to make herself very clear, slight anger creeping through her words. \"ARE WE CLEAR?!\" \"Yes, yes of course... ummmm bye!\" James somehow managed to haul Lenri on to his lanky frame and walk through the door without landing face first on the concrete.
Days went by and then weeks and months with my relationship with Star growing stronger and stronger by the day. Until it got the point that i couldnt go one single day without her and my whole day revolved around seeinf, holding and being next to her. She had become my life's breath.
I looked up as i heard the front door bang closed and saw my darling standing in the hallway bviously distressed. \"What is it babe?\" \"Do you love me?\" \"Yes of course i do. More than words could describe. Why would you ask me that?' \"Because you don't show it. Its starting to really frustrate me. I can't get a word out of you when it comes to your feelings most days and that is beginning to get to me.\" \"What do I need to change?\" \"I don't know. Don't ask me jsut figure t out!\" Something had happened. She needed reassurance and I didn't know how to give it to her.
3 weeks later
\"I'm leaving.\" \"Okay baby i'll see you when you get off. i love you.\" I called from the other room as i was bent over the high chair my nephew was sitting in. I was helping my brother out by watching him while him and his wife go away from things for awhile. Star didn't take much interest in him or in children in general, she seemed to actually resent them. \"No I mean I'm leaving you.'\"
The dish of applesauce clattered to the floor, spraying the liquidy substance everywhere, including down the side of my nephew's face. My hands shaking i tried to clean up the mess and form the words i needed to stop this horrid thing form happening. M mind could only form one word. \"Why?\" \"I feel trapped in this relationship and in this house. I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry.\" \"Sorry doesnt cut it. You know i was a broken soul before all of this. You know i love you. Why is that enough?!\"
3 months later
I ran into her on the street today and i thought I was going to die from the lack of air or the explosion in my heart. She looked happy. Happier than she ever did with me. How do you move from not one but two heart breaking occurences?
1 year later I sent the invitations in the mail today. Things are so much brighter these days. This woman makes everythign seem so much better. Why didnt cupid send her to me sooner? Stupid baby.
4 months later This is it. Todays that day. The day that I take her hand and make her mine forever. TH day th vows are said and rings are exchanged. When i look at her I see my future in her hands.
\"Rina my dear how did I not meet you sooner? You have healed all wounds in my heart. Cupid finally got it right baby. I'm yours forever. As i place this ring on your finger always remember my dear....... You are my last hope in this world for love. If this ends I will no longer love again. My heart can take no more pain. I love you.\" I placed the ring on her finger, said my I dos and kissed her with enough passion to make the ghosts of former lovers blush. Today we began our life together. Today everything felt right.
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Book / Gay and Lesbian
Book / Gay and Lesbian
Book / Gay and Lesbian
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