Humanity Has Killed Me
Hello there, I am the creator of Earth. You probably don’t know me. My name is… Well it changes a lot, now it is Roland Weary now, but later it may be different, it depends on my mood. I have dark, black, skin, golden eyes, and no hair. Some of the animals on earth will say that I created them in my image. Why would I do that? All the creatures I make are original ideas, otherwise they would be considered plagiarized by the board of directors. The board judges you on how well your planet is doing, and they pay you accordingly. I am not doing very well, and it all started a week ago.
One week ago as I was working on a new creature called “The Human”. It was originally conceived to be another furry four-legged animal, but I decided to do something differently. I decided to make a creature with advanced intelligence, pink skin, and opposable thumbs. How wrong was I to do such a thing. Some human believe that all humanity is derived from two people named Adam and Eve. This fact is incorrect, as I started with one million diverse people and spread them all over my always-moving earth. How else would they have different sub-species? Almost immediately my nearest neighbor Abin-Sur, the creator of mars, came over and told me that having animals of such intelligence was foolish. I of course scoffed at him and replied, “Well I wont know unless I try, will I?”
Abin-Sur only created small single-celled organisms and bacteria, he believed that intelligence was deadly and he’d rather not be in a bad predicament. He was paid a modest sum for his planet; he didn’t have many intelligent life forms, but he had peace on his planet. I should have heeded Abin’s warnings if only I knew.
By this time on my planet Earth the humans were just first waking up. They had no way of communication yet; I give that to them when I feel they’re ready. They had already created the wheel and began to paint art, yet it seemed like I should give them something so I gave them the gift of music to add to there arts. They had fun with music, though it was in its archaic stages. This time in history would be known as pre-history, which was honestly pretty pointless if you think about it.
The directors came by to do their daily judging on my planet, and when they saw my progress with the humans they congratulated me. They said, “What an original idea!”
“Great work Roland!”
“Good job, but why not give them the gift of speech? It would greatly increase their intellect.”
I replied, “I will as soon as possible sir. I was waiting for your opinion on the humans before giving them communication.”
And I did.
The first thing I noticed after I gave them speech was that humans love to disagree. They argue and argue until someone gets hurt, and thus communication is what started humanities’ and my own downfall. Humanity had begun to do something that I had never encountered in a creature before. They started wondering. Why are we here? Who created us? What is the meaning of life? All questions only the humans asked. Mans inquisitive nature is what divided them from other creatures on the Earth. So humans began to want answers. They eventually created religions. Religions are when someone wants an answer to a problem, so they create a fantastical story to answer life’s many questions. This is similar to Greek myths, which in fact were a religion as well. They believed that when they died they would go to a place in the clouds if they were a good person. If they were a bad person they would go to the middle of the earth, which funnily enough is actually an iron-nickel sphere.
Another disadvantage of giving the humans communication is that the humans realized that they didn’t want to share things; they wanted something in return. This led to greed and glamour, which only led to more death and hatred. You might ask why I didn’t just get rid of the human race when they were first showing bad signs. Well after the directors saw my original progress with the humans they gave me a massive raise. I went from making $$50,000K to $$135,000K! So I guess it’s a bit ironic for me to complain about humanities imperfections while I am far from perfect as well.
Abin came over and took one look at earth and looked away in disgust. I suppose he had the right to. The humans were already claiming land as their own! That land was not theirs! It was to share with everyone, not just them! And to make matters worse they were destroying the trees! Killing the land! Slaughtering the animals, which (for the most part) try to live in peace and harmony with the land! They had started having wars; brutally killing their own race for something as pointless as eye or skin color! The part that infuriated me the most is that the same men who fought for racial equality in some wars were racist to others when they got back from the war! I’m glad that the directors will not come for another week; surely they will impeach me from my position!
While I seem to be focusing on the negative side of humanity, there are some good traits that humanity has. Humanity has found to love one another on occasion, especially in family, and humans try to help other humans out often. Though sometimes people get funny ideas in their heads when they think that it’s ok to kill or to hurt others when it is not. Humans (particularly the males) seem to think that sexual intercourse with the female is “fun”. They think this so much that they go out and force a woman to have it with them. No other animal on planet Earth has ever done that. No other planet has ever even heard of the genocide of 6 million people because of their skin color or their beliefs, because no other planet had skin color or beliefs. That is the price of intelligence, as I’m sure old Abin would say.
I got no rest the following night. Humanity kept me up. All the clanging and banging of the big cities and the destruction of the planet kept me up. I then began to see that humans were not even satisfied with destroying the earth I had given them. They began to shoot rockets on the moon; the moon was a white rock I had placed next to the earth for kicks. They soon colonized it and mined all of its resources until the moon was dead. They then decided that since the earth was dying and the moon was through, they should colonize Mars. Mars, of course, being Abin-Sur’s planet. Abin was useless against the humans. He had no control over other planets’ creatures. Abin once asked me to force them to retreat, to do something. My only reply was, “I wish I could, I wish I could.”
So humanity killed Mars. This resulted in the death of Abin. For if a planet dies, what purpose does its keeper hold? The humans had killed maybe my only friend. They destroyed most of the Earth. They had too much control. If I get rid of them I will surely die. If I don’t get rid of every last one of them, the directors will most likely experiment with them. So that’s why it came down to this decision. I have destroyed my beautiful planet earth and all its inhabitants. There is no more human race. And I am writing this with my dying breath to let whoever finds and reads this know. Never give an animal too much intelligence. With my arrogance I have killed two people, I just hope my mistake doesn’t repeat itself.
© Copyright 2016 Liam McGilligan. All rights reserved.