Tara's Doubt

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Tara was betrayed by her fiance before. Would she ever find another love?

Submitted: November 13, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 13, 2011



“This is Tara,” Tara answered her phone. Her eyes were still looking at the monitor in front of her. “Are you busy?”  It’s Kelly, her best friend. “Not really, what’s up?” Tara stretched her arms. She had been looking at her monitor for awhile now. She can take a break for few minutes. She locked her computer and walked out.

“Last night I met a guy at the club,” Kelly said. “You always meet guys at the club, what’s new?” Tara teased her. “Ha...ha...I know...but this one is different…”Kelly said.

“And what makes this guy different?” Tara lit her cigarette.

“He’s nice...”

“Of course he’s nice, he wants your number, right?”

“He’s a radio producer,” Kelly ignored Tara’s comment.

“Oh…one of those celebrities..” Tara said.

“His name is Tony…he’s good looking and such a gentleman...” Kelly continued.

“So what does he want from you?” Tara asked. Kelly had been her best friend since college. They were like sisters especially since both of them were only child. Therefore they always talked straightforward to each other.
"Nothing...we just had a couple of drinks last night," Kelly said.
"What time did you get home?"
"Before 8...Ryan wasn't even home yet," Kelly sighed. "He had to finish his project so he had been staying late these last few days," Kelly complained.
"You know he's doing that for your future, right?" Tara said. Ryan was Kelly's fiancé. They had been engaged for almost a year now.
"I know…I know..I just feel that he's always busy,"
"Is that why you keep flirting with those guys?"
"Hmm… not really..."
"What else do you expect from him? Ryan is good looking, he's nice…he has a good position in his company…and he makes good money too…"
"I've told you what I miss from him,"
"Yes, you told me…you miss that feeling, how your heart pounded when he was approaching you…but we're different now…we're not teenagers anymore..."
"Not only that...I feel that I'm needed by those guys..."
"Come on…wake up, dear…they don't need you...they're just bored...they just like to flirt.." Tara lit her second cigarette then blew her smoke vigorously.
"Did I upset you yet?" Kelly chuckled. She knew from the way Tara blew her smoke that she was upset.
"You know you always make me upset every time you tell me about those guys you meet at the clubs," Tara grumbled.
"But Tony is different...he seems like a nice guy," Kelly said.
"I don't think a nice guy would walk around the club collecting girls' phone numbers," Tara said.
Kelly chuckled.
"Why do you keep flirting with those guys, Kelly?" Tara asked.
"I told you already..."
"Yes...but I don't get it…can't you stop doing it?"
"I don't know...maybe I'm addicted to flirting..just like you're addicted to smoking," Kelly said.
Suddenly there was a silence between them.
"I'm sorry, Tara..." Kelly broke the silence. "I didn't mean to remind you of Dan," Kelly continued.
"Please don't mention his name" Tara sighed.
Kelly hated Dan for what he did to Tara a year ago.
Dan was Tara's fiancé. A week after Dan proposed to Tara, they went to a club to celebrate their engagement with Kelly and Ryan.
They were enjoying their drinks when a girl kept hitting on Dan. She even left Dan her phone number on his napkin. Tara ignored her because she was sure that Dan was not that easy to get tempted. Dan kept that napkin in his pocket and said to Tara jokingly: "I have a back up if you start getting bored at me," Four of them laughed.
But few weeks after that, Tara caught Dan and that girl, Lola, in their bedroom. Dan begged her to stay but Tara was too hurt to forgive him. She moved out and stayed at Kelly's place. She cried for days and nights, blaming herself for what Dan did to her. She felt that her life had ended. She didn't care about herself anymore and she started drinking and smoking. Kelly was always there for her. She tried everything to get Tara's spirit back. She told Tara that it wasn't her fault that Dan cheated on her. She said that maybe they were not meant to be together. Another time, she told Tara that it was his lost for cheating on Tara. Kelly didn't know what hit Tara but one day Tara woke up with a better mood. That day, Tara decided to burn everything that reminded her of Dan. She became herself again. But she couldn't quit smoking.

"Hey..Ryan will be out of town this weekend, do you want to hang out? We can go to a mall and shop some new shoes.." Kelly said. She tried to distract Tara from thinking about Dan.
"Sure..I'll stop by at your place before noon,"
"Good..OK, dear..I have to go back to work," Kelly said.
"Yeah, me too..OK, I'll see you on Saturday,"

"You never call me back,". Kelly and Tara who were walking in the mall, turned their head when they heard a guy's voice.
"Oh…hi, Tony!" Kelly laughed when she saw who it was.
A tall handsome guy was smiling at them.
"Tara, this is Tony..Tony, this is Tara," Kelly introduced Tara to Tony. Tony shook her hand.
"Are you ever going to call me back?" Tony teased Kelly.
Kelly chuckled. Suddenly a thought came to her mind.
"I'm sorry..I was too busy preparing stuff for my fiancé...he left the town this morning," she smiled.
Tara was surprised to hear Kelly mentioning Dan. "What is she playing now?" she thought.
Tony looked taken aback too. "Oh, I'm sorry...I didn't know that you're engaged," he said.
Kelly waved her hand. "Don't worry about it. We're just friends, right?" she said.
"Hey, it's lunch time now...let's have lunch together…what do you say, Tony?" Kelly asked him.
"I'd like to but...am I going to interfere you girls?"
"No...no...We’re fine, right Tara?"
Tara didn't know what to say. Kelly knew that she was uncomfortable going out with somebody she just met. But she just smiled.
They decided to have lunch in a small restaurant on the first floor.
After they ordered their lunch, Kelly went outside to make a phone call to Ryan.

Tara and Tony sat in silence.
"So…what do you do?" Tony broke the silence.
"I'm an accountant," Tara said. They got quiet again.
"Kelly said that you're a radio producer, is that right?" Tara asked.
"Oh, so she mentioned about me, huh?" Tony said. Tara smiled.
"Yes, I'm a radio producer.."
"Which radio station?"
"Hhm...I don't think you know my station, they don't play your songs..."
Tara felt offended. "Don't be judgmental…What do you know about my songs?" she snapped.
Tony laughed. "Oops..OK, my station is KHM, we play hard rock music..so, do you listen to hard rock music?" Tony teased Tara.
"I don't listen to hard rock music that often..but I know the songs" Tara said.
"Really? Can you name one singer or any band that plays hard rock music?"
"Hhm..Bon Jovi,"
Tony laughed. "OK..some of his songs are considered hard rock..in the 80's.." he smiled.
"Alice Cooper!" Tara said.
Tony laughed. "And how many of his songs that you know?"
"One.." Tara said softly then both of them laugh.
"OK..I don't know that much about hard rock music..but do you know anything about soft rock?" she challenged him.
"Pssstt..don't tell my boss, but on the way home I always listen to pop rock.." Tony said.
Tara laughed. "I thought you listen to your music all day long?"
"No way..I need my break too.."
"So, which singer do you listen to on the way home?" Tara asked.
"Air Supply, Michael Bolton.."
Tara laughed. "Wow..how long is your work hour that you listen to a totally different kind of music?" Tara teased him.
"Too long..from 6 to 3," Tony said. He started to like Tara now. She wasn't the type of girls who made him attracted at first sight but the more he knew her, the more he liked her.
Kelly came back and she was surprised to see Tara looked so relaxed with Tony. She was happy for her.

"Are you busy?" Kelly called Tara at work.
"Kind of, why?"
"Tony called me and asked for your number. I gave it to him." she told Tara.
"Why?" Tara stopped what she was doing because she was upset.
"He liked you. He wants to see you again,"
"Kelly..you know how I feel about those guys from the clubs, right?"
"I know, dear..but I can feel that Tony is different," she said.
"How can he be different than other guys that you met at the clubs? Do you remember that one guy who was very nice to you but it turned out that he's married with 3 kids?"
Kelly laughed.
"Don't worry..Tony is still young, I don't think he has any kids yet,"
"He's not that young..maybe he's 32-33 years old. If he got married when he was 25, he might have 5 kids now," Tara said.
Kelly laughed. "No way..Come on Tara..just give him a chance..He's not that bad to talk to, right?"
Tara remembered when they had lunch together. Tony and her were busy arguing about music. She must admit it, she actually enjoyed their argument.
"Alright..if he calls, I'll be nice to him..only because you feel that he's different," Tara said.
Kelly laughed and said,"Good..he might call you tomorrow,"

Tony didn't wait until the next day to call Tara. He called that night. He wanted to take her out to dinner the next day but Tara still felt uncomfortable to have dinner with a guy after Dan broke her heart. So they decided to have lunch in the weekend instead.

Tara arrived at the restaurant 45 minutes early so she decided to go to a book store next to the restaurant while she was waiting. She picked a novel and started reading it. "I like his first novel," Tony already stood next to her.
Tara turned her head and smiled. "You like to scare people like that, huh?"
Tony chuckled. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?" Tara shook her head. "Nope..you're lucky that my heart is not weak," she said.
Tony laughed. He realized that he laughed a lot when he was with Tara. She reminded her of someone.
"I came too early so I came here to look for a novel," Tara told him.
"Do you like him?" Tony pointed to the picture of the author on the novel that Tara was holding.

“I don’t know, I’ve never met him,” Tara said.

Tony laughed. “Come on, you know what I meant,”

Tara laughed. She liked to tease Tony. Deep inside her heart, she had mixed feelings about Tony. She liked him but she’s afraid to like him. She didn’t want to get hurt again.

“No…I never read his novels…he writes mystery novels, right?”

“Yes…you don’t like mystery novels?”

Tara shook her head.

“Why not? They’re my favorite” Tony said

“When I read something, I want to enjoy it. I don’t want to think hard and try to solve some mysteries. I think my brain deserves some break,” Tara smiled.

Tony chuckled. “So what kind of novels do you like to read?”

Tara pointed to a shelf next to her. “Romance..cheesy stories..” she laughed.

Tony shook his head. “I don’t get it. Why do you girls like to read those cheesy stories? They are not real…”

 “And you think those mystery novels are real?” Tara asked.

“Well..they’re inspired by real incidents..”

“So are those cheesy stories. They’re also inspired by real life events. The difference is, those cheesy stories always have happy ending but not in real lives,” Tara said.

“Don’t you believe in happy ending in real life?” Tony asked.

“Well, so far I haven’t got my happy ending yet,” Tara grinned.

Tony didn’t say anything. He seemed like he was thinking hard. Then he looked at his watch. “We should go. Our reservation is at 12,” he said.

Tara put back the novel that she had been holding.


“So, how was it?” Kelly asked Tara as soon as Tara answered her phone.

“It was OK,” Tara said.

“Just ‘OK’? What did you guys do?” Kelly asked with curiosity.

“We only had lunch then we spent the whole afternoon in a book store,” Tara said.

“That’s it? You didn’t go to a movie or club or somewhere else?” Kelly sounded surprised.

Tara laughed. “Should we?”

“Of course…I don’t get it…Do you like him?” Kelly asked.

“Well..He’s a nice guy. So far I still like him as a friend,” Tara said.

“I told you that he’s nice, right?” Kelly teased Tara.

“OK…you’re right…are you happy now?” Tara asked.

Kelly laughed. “Of course I’m happy…OK, miss…Update me if you see him again, OK?”

“We’ll see..” Tara laughed and they hung up the phones.

Tara turned on her TV. But her mind was not on the screen in front of her. She replayed what happened that day in her mind. She enjoyed her lunch with Tony. It was the longest lunch she had ever had. They always found things to talk about or to laugh about. After lunch, they went back to the book store. Tony was able to make her read a mystery novel. But in return, she made Tony choose a romance novel to read. They sat next to each other in a couch in that book store reading the novels. They didn’t talk much but Tara actually enjoyed his companion. Once in awhile they looked at each other and smiled.

Tara sighed. She knew she fell for Tony now. She just wished that she wouldn’t get hurt again.

For the next few weeks after that, Tara and Tony saw each other more often. Tony knew from Kelly about what happened to Tara and Dan. That’s why he understood why Tara was uncomfortable to let him come to her place.

One night Tara came over to Tony’s place for dinner. Tony was just done cooking dinner when she arrived.

“I’m going to freshen up a little bit. Could you wait here? You can check my CD collection if you like,” Tony said.

“Sure..I’ll see if I can find Michael Bolton in your CD collection,” Tara said.

After Tony went inside his bedroom, Tara looked around his living room. There was a book shelf filled with mystery novels. Tara read their titles one by one. There was on novel that caught her eyes. It didn’t have any title on its side so Tara pulled the novel out of the shelf. The title on the cover read: Tony and Ally forever.

Tara opened the novel. It turned out that it was a photo album. Tara was stunned when she saw the picture on the first page. It was Tony and a girl in her wedding gown. Her hand was shaking when she flipped thru the pages. She was hoping that Tony was the best man. But those pictures told her something else. She saw some pictures of Tony kissing the bride.

Tears came down on her cheek. Tara put the photo album back where it was. She took her purse and she left Tony’s apartment.

“Are you ready for dinner now?” Tony asked while he walked out his bedroom. He didn’t find Tara in his living room so he looked for her in other rooms. But he couldn’t find her. He went to the parking lot looking for her. Finally he tried to call her cell phone. But Tara didn’t answer the calls.


“Kelly..” Tara called Kelly as soon as she got home.

“Hi Tara.. what’s up, dear?” Kelly asked.

But instead of answering her, Tara started to cry.

“Tara, what happened?” Kelly asked. “Are you home now?”


“OK, I’ll be there soon,” Kelly didn’t wait for Tara’s answer.

She arrived at Tara’s apartment in 20 minutes.

“What happened, Tara?” she hugged Tara who started crying again when she saw Kelly.

“What did Tony do? Did he hurt you?” Kelly asked. She had a feeling that it had something to do with Tony.

“He lied to me, Kelly… he lied to us,” Tara answered in between her sobs.

“About what?” Kelly was confused.

“He’s married..I saw his wedding pictures..” Tara sobbed.

Kelly tightened her knuckles. “I’ll take care of him…” she whispered angrily.

“No…don’t do anything. I just don’t want to deal with him anymore. I’m sure he’ll call you. When he does, please tell him that I’m over him. Tell him to stay away from me,” Tara said.

“I’m sorry, Tara…It’s my fault…” Kelly hugged Tara.

Tara shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself,”

Kelly sighed.


On the way home, Tony called Kelly.

“Hi Kelly, it’s Tony,”

“What do you want, Tony? Kelly asked coldly.

Tony was surprised to hear her tone.

“Hmm…do you happen to know where Tara is? She suddenly left my place without saying anything. I’ve been trying to call her but she didn’t pick up her phone.”

“Go away, Tony. She doesn’t want to deal with you anymore,” Kelly said.

“Why? What did she tell you?”

“She said she’s over you. So don’t call her anymore,”

“But why? I need to see her. Is she home?”

Kelly didn’t answer.

“Kelly, please, I need to know if she’s home safely,” Tony asked.

“Yes, she’s home,”

“Could you tell me her address? Maybe there’s a misunderstanding,”

“I’m sure Tara knows what she’s doing. So please, stay away from her,” Kelly hung up her phone.


Tony didn’t understand why Tara suddenly avoided him. He kept trying to call her but Tara never answered his calls. He really wanted to talk to her to find out what made her avoiding him. But moreover, he missed talking to her.

Tara tried to forget Tony. She was hurt again. This time she decided to close her heart forever. She made herself busy with her work.

Until few weeks later, Kelly called Tara at work.

“Tara, turn on your radio and listen to KHM, Tony’s station,” Kelly told her.

“Why?” Tara was upset because Kelly mentioned his name.

“Just listen to them..quickly..”

Tara turned on her radio unwillingly. She tried finding his station but she can’t find it. When she was still seeing Tony, sometimes she tried to listen to his station. But she couldn’t stand the songs so she usually switched to another station.

“I can’t find it. What song are they playing now?”

“Heaven knows by Rick Price,” answered Kelly.

Tara was surprised. “Are you serious?”

“I’m dead serious…did you find it?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah, I found it…but what’s with the song?” Tara was confused.

“Just listen..”

 Tara continued listening to the song.

After the song ended, she could hear that a listener called the station.

“Hey, man…where’s our hard rock music? What’s up with those soft rock?” the listener asked JC, the DJ.

“Well…you know our producer, Tony, right?”


“Today one year ago, his wife, Ally, died in a car accident…So, in memory of Ally, we are playing soft rock today because that’s Ally’s favorite…”

“Oh…I’m sorry to hear that…Could you tell Tony my deep condolences, please?”

“He heard you…He said thanks,” JC said.

Tara was shocked. All kinds of feelings were in her heart. She felt sad for Tony. She was mad and she felt ashamed of herself.

“Tara, are you still there?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah, I’m here…I feel so stupid now,” Tara said.

“I think you know what to do,” Kelly said.


Tara hung up her phone. They were playing “Endless Love” now. She stared at her monitor, trying to think what to do.

Jane, her coworker, came by to give her some reports. “Oh, I didn’t know that you listen to this station too,” she said when she heard the radio. Tara just smiled to her.

“I’ve been listening to this station for over 2 years. I feel bad for Tony. They just got married for 3 months when his wife died. We could tell that he was a mess at that time. We thought he wouldn’t come back to work. If it was me, I don’t think I can continue living without my husband,” Jean shuddered. Then she left Tara’s room with a sigh.

Tara felt even worse now. It was only 2 o’clock. Tony wouldn’t be home until 4.

Few minutes before 3 o’clock, the JC said that Tony would like to say some words.

Tony cleared his throat a couple of times before he started talking. “Ally..” Tony choked. He cleared his throat again. “Ally loves soft rock, not like me…I’m sure she appreciates what you guys are doing now as much as I do…On behalf of Ally, I’d like to thank my family here at the station and all listeners for your prayers and support.”

“Hey, Ally is our family too…We'll see you tomorrow...drive carefully, man" JC said to Tony.
"Ok, next is 'You want to make a memory' by Bon Jovi.." announced JC.
Tara listened to the song. She couldn't concentrate anymore. She had to see Tony.
Around 4 o'clock, she couldn't wait much longer. She told her supervisor that she wasn't feeling well and she went home.

Tara knocked on Tony's door but nobody answered. She lit her cigarette and waited in his driveway.
When she saw Tony's car was coming, Tara stood up and put off her cigarette.
She waited until Tony got off his car then she approached him. Tony didn't say anything when he saw Tara. He looked sad.
"Tony, I'm sorry that I left that day without saying anything. I'm sorry that I’ve been avoiding you all this time. When I saw your wedding pictures, I was..hurt. I thought you were one of those cheaters and you were just toying with my heart. I really feel stupid now...I didn't know that Ally...” Tara saw pain in his eyes when she mentioned Ally so she stopped talking. She waited but Tony didn't say anything.
"I understand if you won't forgive me...I deserve it.." she continued.
"Are you done?" Tony asked.
Tara's heart was hurt when she heard Tony's question. She nodded her head. She thought Tony would tell her to leave.
But instead, Tony pulled her and brought her into his arms.
"Don't you ever leave me like that again." he whispered. Tara was surprised at first but later she hugged Tony.
"You scared me to death when you left that day...I was so worried when I couldn't find you...I didn't know why you left but I didn't care...I just felt so relieved when Kelly told me that you were home..."
Tara looked up. Her eyes met Tony's eyes. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean to make you worry..."
"I lost my loved one once, I thought I lost another one," Tony looked into her eyes.
Tara didn't find anything but sincerity in his eyes.
"Promise me that you will ask me if you have any doubt in me," Tony said.
Tara smiled. "I will...” She kissed Tony gently. Deep in her heart, she already knew that she would never have any doubt in Tony.


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