Going Gucci

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A fat bogan woman pretends to be in labour in order to get a lift, instead she gets a brand new car.

Submitted: December 10, 2013

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Submitted: December 10, 2013



Scene 1


(ELISE, a young upper-class woman, is driving down a long deserted road. The brand expensive car contrasts with the arid land beside her. Speeding and distracted, she argues on her mobile phone.)


ELISE:Look Richard, I’m not selling my Gucci bag! No, no! It’s limited edition. I’m not sell-


(ELISE looks out of the car window and she sees a fat Bogan woman in her mid-thirty’s. The woman is heard yelling, “hey, hey, you gotta help me!’’ ELISE firmly breaks, drops her phone on her seat and steps out with a sense of panic. ELISE then morphs into the fat Bogan woman. She holds her stomach as if she feels pain.)


TRACY:I’m having a baby! Oh my god! It hurts real bad. You gotta drive me to ahospital lady.


(TRACY morphs back into ELISE who is now standing in front of the car. A sense of panic overwhelms her.)


ELISE:Wow, ok. You’re really having a baby. Just breathe, (beat) I’m going to call an ambulance.


(She rushes to the car and takes her mobile from her seat. She looks at her phone with frustration. She walks back over to TRACY.)


ELISE: It’s out of battery.


(She puts the phone back on the drivers seat.)


ELISE:You wait there. I saw a phone box down the road; I’ll be as quick as Ican. Just try to hold it in. Everything’s going to be okay.


(ELISE turns and freezes in a running position. She morphs back into TRACY by walking back to where TRACY is standing.)


TRACY: (Holding her stomach and waving to ELISE.) You’re a lifesaver lady! (Beat) Take your time, (awkwardly) Ah, it hurts real bad… (Fading)


(TRACY slowly loses eye contact with ELISE. She turns and slowly walks over to the car. She feels the bonnet with a suspicious smile on her face. She gets in the car; it is obvious that she is too big for the seat. She puts on a pair of ELISE’s glasses and looks in the mirror, checking for signs of ELISE as she does so. She then adjusts the seat, starts the car and speeds off.)


(TRACY morphs back into ELISE. ELISE is running back, hot and exhausted.)


ELISE:I called them! I called… (Fading)


(She stops. She looks around confused, then stops still and thinks for a few seconds. She puts her hand to her mouth in shock and realisation. She paces up and down the road, hands on her head.)


ELISE: No, no no, no, no. This can’t be happening. (Getting teary and yelling down the road.) Come back with my car and my Gucci!


(She collapses dramatically, crying. Ambulance sirens are heard approaching.) 

© Copyright 2019 Lilly Gilovitz. All rights reserved.

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