Soulmates

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
The feeling of butterflies in your stomach you get when you like someone does it mean love? Does it mean fate?

Submitted: August 23, 2014

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Submitted: August 23, 2014

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I'm in love. Or at least I think I am. I have never tasted this feeling before. I don't know how to deal with it or what to do with it. So here I am secretly and one sided in love with this handsome man who barely even knows I exist. The thing is I don't know if this feeling is love. When I look at him is like I already know him. Its like we met before, like he was always meant for me. But the truth is harsh. The truth is that I don't know anything about him not even his name. Yet I see him every day. I hear his voice from time to time, an when I'm standing close to him I stare at his blue eyes, his short blond hair, his hands which would fit perfectly into mine. And his smile. Its like he smiles with his eyes. Sometimes I like to think that he smiles at me, even though I know that's not the truth, I like to lie to myself even for a moment. Its crazy I don't know anything about him yet I feel like he is the universe I'm supposed to live into. And here I am doing nothing. I just hide whenever he walks past me and I always stare at him so that he wont notice me. But what should I do? Am I content with this? Do I like my current  life? Being alone and being in love with someone you can't have. Or should I let fate happen? What should I do? 

 

I have always dreamt of a love like this. Breathtaking and forever. But I thought I would never find it. All my life I've had the feeling that the one meant for me wasn't here. Wasn't on this planet and even if I were to search through 6 billion people I still wouldn't find him. But at this point in time I can say I am happy I was wrong. Even if it is one sided, even if I don't have a chance to express this love, I still got the chance to taste what its like, to catch a glimpse of what it feels like to find your soul mate. The one person who can understand you without words. That is what true love feels like for me, I don't know if everyone feels the same or if its different. 

True love also comes with the biggest price you could ever pay. Pain. An equivalent price to match its undying and forever love. Maybe that pain is what I fear. Maybe that pain is what we all fear. Maybe that's what's stopping me from telling him how I feel. Not the pretense that he may or may not have a girlfriend or he may or may not be already in love with someone else, but this fear of that pain. The pain of losing him. Now or later it would still kill me. I'm sure of it. 


© Copyright 2019 Lilly Thomas. All rights reserved.

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