Alcohol was on her breath. There she stood in the middle of the celebration with so many people surrounding her yet she kept her eye on only one person. It was the man she used to love. The man she still loved but wanted to hate. How can he act like everything was alright? He was socializing with a group of people and every time he smiled, it made her sick. She wanted him to feel pain like she was. She took another sip of her strongly mixed drink. The sadness, the anger, the pain, it was all simply too much for her to handle.
He saw her staring and he was concerned. She looked very drunk. When he invited her to the celebration, he was convinced that she wouldn't come but she took him by surprise. He was concerned about how she would get home. He wouldn't let her drive, absolutely not.
She kept staring at him while taking gulps of her drink. She started to get very dizzy but she just didn't care. She poured herself another drink, only this time, she didn't mix it.
He saw her pour herself another drink. He thought to himself that she was drinking way too much. It was going on midnight and he thought that the celebration should start wrapping up. He made an announcement thanking everybody for coming. While he was doing that, she finished her drink and poured another. She considered not drinking it but the thought faded quickly and she gulped it down.
He saw her do this and he didn't like it. When others said goodbye to her, she slurred her words saying how nice it was to see them.
When she started to walk, she tried to find her keys in her bag. When she finally found them, she felt an arm go around her waist and lead her into the nearest room. She felt her keys getting taken from her. The light came on and she realized that she was in the library with the man she still loved. Oh no, not you, she thought.
He had her keys in his hand and said, "You are not driving home." She looked at him trying to act sober, "Give my keys. I'm not drunk."
He quickly replied, "No. You are swaying back and forth. I'm not letting you leave unless you have a sober ride home. I would drive you but I have been drinking also."
She walked up to him and tried to get them from him but she failed. "Damn it, give me them. Just give me my keys. It's not like you care anyway." After hearing her words, he felt hurt. Of course he cared. He had never stopped. "You know I care that's why I'm not letting you drive. You can stay here for tonight in the guest bedroom."
She glared at him, "For the last time, give me my keys." He was very mad now. He slammed his fist against the wall and shouted, "No! I'm not giving you your damn keys! Stop being so stubborn. You're staying here tonight." After he yelled at her, she got furious and pushed him as hard as she could saying, "I don't need your help and I sure as hell don't want it. I don't need you taking care of me." His eyes showed her that he was angry but also hurt. She reached out her hand for the keys but he nodded no. Before she could stop herself, she slapped him as hard as she could across the face. After doing this, she started to feel a little sober. She breathed deeply, waiting for his reaction.
He stood there looking at her, still feeling a stinging sensation on his cheek. He couldn't believe she had done that. He slowly started to walk towards her. She tried hitting him but he grabbed her wrist. She then tried to hit him with her other hand but he grabbed that wrist as well. He pushed her up against the wall and pinned her arms. "Stop it. Stop," he said. She was breathing fast and realized what she had just done. The guilt started to settle in.
Her vision got blurry as she stared in his eyes. She saw that she had hurt him. He didn't like seeing her this way but he knew that he was the reason why she was acting like this. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "I wish I could hate you. I want to hate you. I want to but I just can't." A tear fell down her cheek as she felt his grip loosen. He looked at her with sympathetic eyes as he interlocked his fingers with hers. His forehead fell upon hers as he whispered, "Tell me to stop. Tell me to leave right now. Tell me to stop touching you, missing you, wanting you. I don't deserve you. I hurt you. Tell me to never speak to you again. You deserve better." He pulled back, staring at her, waiting for her reply. She looked up at him with swollen eyes and slowly nodded no. After she done this, he immediately kissed her hard, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her body to his. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and started to pull his hair. He then picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. It had been so long since he had touched her, he just couldn't control himself. He wanted to kiss her everywhere, hold her, love her.
He took her to his bedroom and softly placed her on his bed with him on top of her. He stopped kissing her for a moment and just gazed at her. She looked so beautiful. In a way, she completed him. He placed his hand on her cheek and continued to look at her. She placed her hand on top of his, lowering it to her lips so she could softly kiss his hand. He smiled and resting his head on her chest while she stroked his hair. He never wanted to let go of her. He never wanted to hurt her. All he wanted was to love her.
The pain had faded for the both of them. Now, all that they had was love for one another.
© Copyright 2016 Lindsey Renea. All rights reserved.
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