Shit you never think of...

Reads: 626  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 4

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Here are a few things that make me go "hmmm..."

Submitted: August 04, 2008

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 04, 2008

A A A

A A A


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty
for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going
to see you naked anyway.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the
bathroom is?

Can blind people see their dreams?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


© Copyright 2017 Lindsy Clapp. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply