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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


Submitted: November 21, 2015

© Copyright 2022 Lionel Walfish. All rights reserved.

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I absolutely loved it. Great horror story, well written, good job creating an air of mystery about it all. Also, good job leaving it at a mysterious but at the same time somewhat conclusive cliffhanger. I know you usually don't continue stories like this, but I'd still like it if you made a 'chapter two' to explain how and why Maurice was killed.

Sat, November 21st, 2015 6:46pm

Lionel Walfish

Good to hear from you,YoungButExperienced.
Your great comments about my writing, always appreciated.

Perhaps I should have gone into more detail, regarding the ending.

When hammering the nail into the stone, Maurice hammered the ends of his long scarf into the stone as well, and when he turned to walk away, his scarf caught at his neck and choked him to death.

Give it another read, and see if it works for you.

Sat, November 21st, 2015 8:09pm

Jason Crager

Very impressive. Well written and creepy. It is your style and talent that will keep me reading future work. Some write entertaining stories with little emphasis on proper use of words and language. You have combined the two. A great ability to have.

Tue, November 24th, 2015 3:17am


Thanks so much Ronin!
Much appreciate your comments. Your insight into my work resonates so well with my way of thought processing.



Sat, December 12th, 2015 12:57pm

Lionel Walfish

Ronin, your words are so encouraging, and well thought out. Thank you!

Tue, November 24th, 2015 2:15pm

unmasked delusions

This is completely chilling, a beautiful horror story with descriptions that make me jealous as writer. The suspense was great. The ending was simple yet deep, what a tragic accident.

Wed, April 13th, 2016 4:02am


Many thanks, unmasked delusions.

I wrote this one years ago, and thought it would be neat to resurrect it..

Wed, April 13th, 2016 4:07am


Wow, that was seriously creepy, Lionel. I could feel the atmosphere in that cemetary. And poor Maurice, he'd been so brave about the challenge.

Mon, August 8th, 2016 6:55pm

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