Inside My Head.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
What's going on in my head

Submitted: October 30, 2011

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Submitted: October 30, 2011

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Sad, so sad

Tired, so tired

Empty, so empty

 

Please lift my heart

Please let me breathe

Please give me life

Please save me

 

Or end it I will

And that I wish I would do

But something prevents me

I am afraid and guilty.

 

A part of me screams,

Please set me free,

Please make me happy,

Make me want to live

The other part cries,

This life is hell,

It will not get better,

Just end it now.

 

So now I wait,

Wait for something to trigger me

And cause so much pain

That my only option is death.

 

Oh how I yearn for this

Because a coward I am

And I wish for an excuse

So I can kill myself for a reason.

 

Just a young girl I am,

Not lived that long

I have yet to experience life

Yet I still cry silently,

And pray for my death

 

This is sad but true

And yes I want it to end

So badly so, that option I still have

It is secretly hidden, so no one finds out

For if they do, they will surely question me

And worry they will, worry all night long

This is my fear, what is scaring me

The fear of no control,

Being forced

This makes me afraid, and so I try to hold on

But how much longer I can do this I am unsure

I have been holding on for so long

My time is almost up

The end is almost here

How that scares me to say

But inside I know this is the truth

I know I will give in

Whether I succeed or not, I will give in soon

The time is coming closer

How happy and sad that makes me feel

How crazy I sound

But stop thinking about it I cannot

It replays in my mind, over and over

It haunts me, that night

For if I did not cry out for help

Then maybe I would not be here

Maybe at peace I would be

How pathetic I was

I punish myself for that

Why, I ask myself everyday, why?

Why did I not do it

How could I be so stupid?

Which is why this time I shall not fail

To me failure is not possible

If I fail my fears I will have to face

That I cannot deal with, it makes me shudder

So I hope the end for me comes soon

And death shall take me away,

Away from this dreadful life and these dark thoughts

Death, I cannot wait.


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