The Redneck Wedding

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a true story about a redneck wedding we attended a few yrs ago.

Submitted: February 07, 2009

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Submitted: February 07, 2009

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Some redneck friends of ours decided that after living together for 9 yrs and having 2 kids, they would finally get married. They were on a very tight budget and decided that the front yard of the trailer they were renting was a great place to have the wedding. So they called up all their friends and told them they were getting married and to bring a covered dish for the reception afterwards. These folks are great folks and we love them dearly but they are truly REDNECKS.So the wedding day arrived and we went a little early to help set up the chairs, mater crates and drink boxes for the guess to sit on. They had a nice piece of indoor/outdoor carpet that they pulled up off the front porch and put down for the isle for the bride to walk down. Now keep in mind, they were on a tight budget so they got lots of family to help with the wedding. The brides little brother who was around 13 at the time was in charge of the music. The guess arrived and took their seats on the mater crates and such and listened to hank williams jr blasting from the one of the uncles trucks that was parked out front with the doors open. This was the only source of a cd player so this is what they were using for the music. The groom finally came down the isle and took his place up front with the preacher who was also a good friend of theirs. His other job was riding on the back of a trash truck during the week. The little brother, being new to this dis jocky stuff started playing the music the thought was for the bride to come down and take her place with the groom and the trash collector/preacher. But the poor kid didnt have a clue what to play. You know, there is 2 wedding songs. The one where the bride comes in and the one where the bride goes out. Well, little floyd got them mixed up a bit and the bride came in to the going song and left to the coming in song. No one seemed to notice much as most of the guest had been taking part in the pre wedding drinking fest.The bride looked so pretty as she walked down the carpet carrying one of their kids in her arms. As the trash collector/preacher was going through his spill, 3 chickens came walking down the isle and one went between the bride and groom. This the guest noticed . No way you could have not heard the giggles from the very happy guest. They chickens moved on around picking at the ground and very close to come guest feets. After the trash collector/preacher prononuced them man and wife and they kissed, everyone began cheering. They went back into their trailer and changed into their reception clothing, Tee shirts and cut off jeans. They were just afixing to cut their flat sheet wedding cake when we noticed that there was 2 dogs happily bumping uglies right behind the bride and groom. It was hard for me not to laugh when I heard a kid behind me yelling" Look mommie, those two dogs are stuck together"!!! The reception was great since everyone brought a covered dish and they had plenty to eat and drink. The kids had kool aid and the adults had every kind of beer there is sitting in a empty ( thank god) JOHN full of ice. no need for a kooler when you have a old john sitting around just waiting to be filled with ice and beer! They had a great time and so did we. I can promise you this is the first and last wedding like this I have ever been to but it sure was lots more fun than the regular old boring weddings I have been to since this one. They are still happily married, 10 yrs later and still right where they were when they got married.


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