A glimpse into me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
a fraction of my life

Submitted: December 20, 2012

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Submitted: December 20, 2012

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If it wasn't for my babies I'd be in the sky,

confused as to wether to live or die,

lifes getting so hard I blink and it rains,

just one more drama and I'll go insane.

They say they all care but they don't give a fuck,

Its only little jo, like water off a duck.

Cant trust anyone, fake smile on my face,

turning knives in my back at a steady pace.

Try to remember the good only think of the bad,

I'm dying inside just like my fucking Dad.

I know he's got to go soon, I know he's got to leave,

Can't he hear me inside screaming stay Dad, please.

I think about Terry and it makes me wanna break,

taking his own life like that for fuck sake.

So much has happened since i turned thirteen,

my life just flipped its not fair it was mean.

Happy go lucky kid being told I might die,

sat there terrified, can't look the docter in the eye.

That year I learnt to keep my feelings to myself,

locked them in a box on the very top shelf.

Can't let mum see me upset can't let her know that I'm scared,

sitting there smiling pretending I don't care.

Six months of chemo, I got the all clear it was great,

chance to live out my dreams but it wasn't my fate.

I lost my mind I fell off the rail,

people said my only destiny was to end up in jail.

Wild parties, pills, powders, booze and smoke,

still just a kid yet every night a different bloke.

I fell pregnant at sweet sixteen,

I'm skipping all the shit that happened inbetween.

A lot of stuff went down, I can't talk, its to raw,

I'll never tell anyone what happened on that bathroom floor......

So here I am twenty two living on the estate,

two beautiful kids just a handful of mates.

Feeling so lonely I'm looking after everyone,

who looks after me, no one, I'm done.

I day dream about taking the easy way out,

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE, inside I shout.

Getting harder and harder to fake this smile on my face,

but i have to stay strong for my kids sake...

xxx

 


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