I lifted my foot into the air and thumped it into Elijah‘s side. The kick being small still made him gasp in horror, knocking all his breath away. He laid on the edge of the road, scratches running up his face covered in dirt and dust. I could tell by the way his stomach bulged out that above were broken ribs, the swollen red lumps rattled when he shivered. All this ran through my head, I had done this, I had injured this man and I had nearly killed him. But none of it mattered, no guiltiness flooded me nor did I feel remorseful- I enjoyed it.
Elijah smiled up at me a goofy, smug smile. “Finish it” he whispered. I did nothing apart from stare at him wishing I could feel something, anything that could make me stop. Make me feel human once more. “Finish it” he screamed his face an uproar of flames, his bones slowly snapping in half, his body healing but also killing him at the same time. I knew I only had a matter of seconds to choose, kill him or run. I looked at his face, the way he pulled his mouth apart grimacing while sharp teeth were put in, I wanted to kill him and I knew if I did I would be taking his pain away. An apology for not being able to feel what he felt, when I tore him apart and while he slowly mended himself back together over and over again. I looked back down at my victim while he poured his lungs out, blood dripping from his open mouth. There was no longer a smile on his face. “Please” he begged, his voice was rough and sounded scratchy. I knew the transformation was nearly over- all was left now was his fur to appear and the one sense he would know- to kill.
I leant over and bared his shoulders down. I silently touched the side of his cheek with two fingers and closed my eyes, my eyelids fluttered once and then it was over. The screaming stopped, the pain stopped. Elijah’s limp body sat quietly in my arms and even though I could feel no emotion, I remembered my brother, I could remember us and how we use to be. I held my memories very close to me, the one thing that couldn’t leave. I wished him a happy afterlife.
I stood up and clicked my fingers and Elijah’s dead body disappeared. Ashes descended down and formed a circle. I knew my brother was safe now, I knew he was gone.
Two years later
I found myself lost every night, not knowing where to go or how to defend myself. It’s was there in my brain but only reorganised.
Proof particle one^
“Is everything all right Ace?” Melody appeared behind me and ruffled my hair; she spiked it out so it stuck out.
“Don’t lie” She replied.
“For a best friend you’re very annoying” I pushed her hand out of my hair and stood up “It’s best if you didn’t know.” Melody stared at me for a few moments before nodding, she wore her hair up today and it looked strange. Everything looked strange.
“Ok” Melody gave me another long meaningful look “I-I’m here for you though. You know that right?”
“Yeah” I smiled at her, and at that second horrible images came crashing down on me. I didn’t know what they were from or how they made their way into my head, but they were atrocious. Blood and grazes on a familiar face. I felt like I knew the person somehow, even though I knew I had never met them. Several scenes blenched over my brain and I felt my throat clog up. A smile was the last thing I saw before I blacked out; hitting the concrete hard... or so they told me.
Proof particle two^
They’re coming more frequent now and not just the scenes. Everything and I still don’t understand what my purpose is. I don’t feel right, nothing I know or see is normal inside my head. I don’t feel like me.
However, I can’t compare to anything else, so maybe I just need to see another doctor who wants to use me as a guinea pig.
Or, I could...no it’s no use. There’s nothing to me.
What do I do? I’m afraid I will see too much...
I picked up a photograph off a wooden bench in our house. Mum, dad and I. I peered closer to their faces, brown tanned skin, blue eyes, skittered hair. Mum and I were both grinning while dad was pulling a half dragged upwards face. I hated how they smiled. I looked at myself, a tiny figure with no life apart from playing with Lego. All of us looked so similar there, but now, you would be surprised if a showed you a family photograph of us.
Proof particle three^
I undressed for bed and like I do every night, I turned my head around and faced my back to my tilted mirror looking at the deep cuts punctured into my skin, a short distance away from each other straight, vertical, engraved wounds. Dried blood always stuck around the edges crisp like it was burnt. How this was there- I had no idea.
Proof particle four^
I no longer feel human. Why is this?
I feel like this is a countdown or even a race.
Shocked and appalled I find out the truth. I realise that the picture taken of my family was a different family I have grown use too now. I have been living with fake family.
Proof particle five^
Now days my memories are organised and healthy. A day not too long ago everything fell into place. I found out my memories were replaced and reorganised, changed. I found out that I used to be one of the darkest creatures out there. I realised I killed my brother and enjoyed it. I had become a monster, and I needed to be stopped. I don’t know who saved me but I’m just glad they did.
My brother was mistaken and at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I don’t regret murdering him though, he had always told me- even when I was little how much pain he was in.
I had once wished upon a little star...that I would save him. And that’s exactly what I did.
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