I thought I wouldn’t be around when I saw myself fail,
I thought that my energetic mind, heart and soul would see me through,
I had nightmares of my fear coming true, of failing right before my very eyes,
I dreamt of that chiming, unknown voice whispering, give it one more try,
I wished for the past to be re written and the future to be known,
The problems ahead, the trouble and harm racing for a place to be extinct,
One more try, without failing, no faults, and the known unknown forever,
Still a heavy heart beats silently underneath my chest, teasing me of my mistakes,
And only now do I realise that deceasing my flaw full heart,
Didn’t take the pain away, didn’t make a difference, didn’t give me that one more try,
That one more chance, when, maybe, I could have forgotten and forgiven my selfishness,
And became a new person, with all the mistakes in the world... or none at all.
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