Body Peace Treaty

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
I've struggled a lot with my body, my self esteem, my everything. And in my road to recovery, I wrote this. I think everyone should write one. This is my body peace treaty. This is my pledge to love myself and reach out to those who are suffering too.

Submitted: November 02, 2011

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Submitted: November 02, 2011

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Is this really what I wanted?

Remembering all these weird rhymes and tips and tricks so that I won’t eat.

Constantly chewing gum.

Starving for four days, and then binging on the 5th because I’m just so damn hungry. And then feeling absolutely disgusting about it.

Feeling guilty every time I eat.

Never wearing jeans.

Avoiding the mirror.

Dreading every picture taken of me.

Never feeling beautiful.

Welcome to my eating disorder.

I refuse to feel like this anymore. I’m sick of it. I refuse to feel guilty when I’m not hungry.

So here is my Body Peace Treaty.

I, am beautiful. I may not look like a Victoria’s Secret model. But I am beautiful. I don’t wear a size zero. My face couldn’t be the cover of a magazine. But you know what? I’ll say it again. I. Am. Beautiful. My quirks, my hair, and my eyes…even the things I can’t stand. God made me in his image and likeness. God made me his precious child. God made me absolutely beautiful. He gave me gifts that I haven’t even thanked him for. But most importantly, he gave me this body. A body to take care of, and love, and to be proud of. No matter what shape or size it is.

Girls are taught from a young age that all your body parts have to be shaped a certain way. Your hips can’t be too big or small. You have to at least wear a C cup to even be looked at by guys. You have to be skinny. Your face has to be smooth and delicate and acne free. Your thighs have to be perfectly toned. So girls have this messed up image of what “beautiful” is. And they all go about their lives believing that if they don’t look this way, it is unacceptable.

So girl’s starve themselves, and purge, and do anything in their power to look this way. They go on diets when they shouldn’t. They become obsessive and forget that life is not all about how you look.

But all of it is a lie. Society shouldn’t decide how one is supposed to look.

So here it is. I am making peace with my body. I promise not to starve and purge anymore. I promise to look in the mirror and smile. I promise to be proud of myself. I promise to be healthy. I promise to not feel guilty (or take no heed to the guiltiness I feel) when I eat. I promise to love myself, and be at peace with myself. My body is not the enemy, nor is food. I promise not to battle my hunger.

Body, let’s make peace. I know we’ve been at war for quite sometime. But this is me, holding up the white flag. I want to get better.

Screw anorexia, and the pro-ana society. Screw bulima, and purging.

Screw it all.

I am beautiful no matter what society wants to think. They can label me and brand me for what they want. But I am so much more than just my body.

I love to sing, write, act, cook, play guitar, hang out with friends, watch movies, make movies, play piano, learn about music, run cross country, etc. I am so much more than just my body.

I am a person.

My name is Desiree, and I am pledging peace with my body.

Thank you Taryn for your undeniable support through my difficult journey getting here.

Thank you God. Because when I felt all alone. You were there by my side, holding my hand and pulling me through this.

I love myself and who I am.

I’ve fought the battle, and won.

I. Am. Beautiful.

DEAR ANOREXIA SUFFERERS:

You know what's stupid? This whole idea that everyone has for women. This whole idea that they have to be this skinny, have this shaped arms, face, eyes, etc. This whole shitty societal idea that you aren't worth anything if you don't look a certain way. That men won't look at you. That you will never be accepted. That you aren't beautiful. Well I am here to tell you today that I've been there and done that with anorexia.FOOD IS NOT THE ENEMY. Food is what nourishes your body and keeps you healthy and strong. Food is what helps your body to activate and achieve everyday goals. Food is not the enemy. And neither is your body. No one is. Image is not everything.Real men love beauty and personality and wit; which every woman has.So I say, if you wish to lose weight or want to change the way your body looks? Do it! By all means, do it! But do ithealthfully. That way you will look beautiful, feel beautiful, and feel healthy. Starving yourselfwill kill you. It will kill your self-esteem. It will kill your metabolism. And in the long run,it will kill you. You are not a pig if you eat food. Food is what your body needs.Never feel guilty for eating food. Never feel like a pig. Never feel ugly for eating.Look in the mirror, love the person staring back at you.That is you. That is your body.The only body you were given. Take care of it. Your body is God's temple. Models are not the image of perfection, but more accurately, deception. And what about inner beauty? What about the person within?Who cares if you weigh 90 pounds if you are this absolutely despicable monster within? Starvation is not your friend. Food will not cheat you. You can get thin in much healthier ways. And you know you can. As a girl who once suffered from this herself, I've realized that I am not of this societal image. I am not of this world of or of this society. I don't have to live to their standards. I don't have to act a certain way or a look a certain way. All I have to be is me. And I love me. I love myself for my quirks,insecurities, flaws; everything. Because without those defining things, who would I be? Who would you be? So love yourself. Don't listen to all this pro-anorexia bull shit. Be your own person, be not of this world.Love yourself.Eat. And remember thatbeauty is both within and outer.And don't let anyone ever make you feel like you aren't beautiful.God created us in the image and likeness of him. And if that isn't beautiful, then hell I don't know what is.

Desiree.


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