RollerCoaster Maddness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
this was one of my first storys i wrote in year 7
every one wanted to no what happened but really wouldnt it ruin the suspence if i told yuo

Submitted: May 02, 2009

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Submitted: May 02, 2009

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"i'll get the tickets", i yelled to kate as she lined up for the greatest rolle coaster on earth! some people came to the melbourne show just for the famous roller coaster. I quickly grabbed the tickets and quickly ran to join kate in the line. when i looked aound i realized we were closer to the end of the line then to the front and that was saying something, but i spose this would be an experience to remember.

"Finally!" it was our turn for for the roller coaster. Kate and i were so excited, we started edging forward but suddenly we stopped, the people incarge informed us that some one had been sick on the ride and they would have to take a break to clean it. kate and i moaned and then the crowd let out a long heartless sigh.

After a long restless 20 minutes the ride was back up and running and in no time we were in our seats getting strapped in, we were so thrilled we couldnt sit still. we sat at the front because we thought in would be funner. with our hearts pumping and adrenilin rushing the rolle coaster started to move, it was so exciting yet we couldnt stop trembling, it went up and down round and round, and now we were coming up to a patr were we ended up upside down, our hair fall insinc with our arms and everyone screemed with excitment, but then suddenly there was a click and a bang and the ride stopped.

kate and i were terrified this had never happeded before, we help on for our life, we started taliing in an act to  try and keep our selves calm, but still we  kept shaking,

minutes went by or maybe hours? who new ? people stood staring in shock! we could here fire trucks in the distance but we would be to high up.

what would happen to us?.............


TEACHERS COMMENT

Creadit - what did happen

you build up suspence well and leave the reader guessing.

very well done, good writting


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