When Regrets Knock

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Short script from life experience

Submitted: August 07, 2012

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Submitted: August 07, 2012

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Pains me to see you in pain.

Saddens me to see you rage.

Hurts me to know it’s because of me.

 

Touch here what I know to be true.

A liar of the best kind. Without a care. Without a mind to spare.

A whore of fashion. With the smallest doubt I’m sure.

A regret in the prettiest demise.

But....

 

 

A human of all sorts. Of every classification....

 

I am a mistake more so than I am the solution. I am the doubt more so than the surety. I am the might have more so than the was. I am the no, more often, than I am the yes. I am a disaster, but I feel....

 

And I feel.... Bricks. Where there was a heart, Bricks where there were doors with keys that I once possessed and lost.  I feel disdain, painted over eyes of the honest. I hear the worst tearing noises pounding in my eardrums from those that I’ve hurt, but I hear the way your heart beats slow, debating, hesitating whether or not it should while i’m here. I feel your mind walking away, and I hear the silence in the distance. 

 

I feel the weeping of my eyes, and the hole in my heart where your anger and pain settles. Where the mistake have woven into the veins throughout my body, rigging myself with nothing but overwhelming regret. Regret not for the things i’ve done, but how they transcended into what is now you. The you that hates me, and no other justice would do.

 

I can’t kill these foes with good deed.

 

I can see it there, like burning rays from the sun. Hot coals from the fire. It settles in the dim shades of your eyes. Fresh wounds, uncleaned. I would gladly take them. I would burn myself, endure the pain and anguish if it meant you hurt no longer. If i could rid you the reflection of mistakes you see in me I would wash myself clean. Honey, I would walk the earth of lovers in purgatory in indefinite promise that you would be without, and not forever condemned with my mishap of being. 

 

If that were possible in worlds that were real, I would. If it were possible, you would know that though details have dimmed that the pain and anger has never dimmed from your touch, from your gaze, from your voice, and that even the numbest parts of me seethe in pain. 

 

But, sir, gentlemen of my dreams, we loved. And we loved for days, in each others arms, in each others eyes, in each others hearts, in each others bodies. we loved in the longest days of summer, in the longest nights of winter, and we found each other amongst the millions of others in the world.... out of the millions of people and things i found love in you....

 

and I can’t give that back.

 

So i’ll keep you. 

 


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