How To Fight Loneliness

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Alex grabs my hand before I can leave, pulling me back towards him. His pupils are completely blown. I can feel the tendons stretched in his hand, the heat radiating from his body. “Just give me
another chance.” he murmurs, tipping my head towards his. His eyes are ringed with smoky blue hues – he's so close, I can feel him exhale. His hands are shaking, leg bouncing. I can’t remember a
moment when he was still. “No.” I whisper, pulling my hand back and walking away.

Table of Contents

One.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

“I don’t know why you close the door when you go in there, like I’m oblivious to your drug habit.”  ... Read Chapter

Two.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

The bell rings after hours have transpired.  I've already packed my books away, euphoria exploding through my achin... Read Chapter

Three.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

  The air is sharp and imposing as I push through the doors to the quad.  ... Read Chapter

Four.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

"Is this fucking Shinedown?"  Luke's voice is bleary, full of laughter.  I blink away... Read Chapter

Five.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

I'm late, five minutes late, and yet to enter the school grounds.  My dreams were littered with binges, vivid on te... Read Chapter

Six.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

Alex's pupils have exploded into voids, black, gaping holes that leave his eyes devoid of colour.  The gra... Read Chapter

Seven.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

  "What the fuck happened?"  Marissa is mad, really mad, and I can't stop laughing ... Read Chapter

Eight.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

One apple.   Just one apple.  Small. Bruised. Red, with miniscule flecks across the shiny... Read Chapter

Nine.

Submitted: October 24, 2017

Seventeen footsteps across the cafeteria, past thirteen students and one teacher. Ninety-nine point eight this morning... Read Chapter

Ten.

Submitted: June 03, 2018

Three menthol cigarettes, one pill, slipping down my throat like silk.  Alex is leant against the fence, hands shak... Read Chapter

Eleven.

Submitted: June 05, 2018

  My head is throbbing.  Everything is muted in greys and blues. Alex's shoulder is... Read Chapter

Twelve.

Submitted: July 04, 2018

“Lyss, this has to stop.”  Marissa’s words flutter by, like a passing breeze, and my stomach is bei... Read Chapter

Thirteen.

Submitted: July 04, 2018

The Mirtazepine hits me on the bus, encompassing me with golden hues – it sneaks across my brain and weighs he... Read Chapter

Fourteen.

Submitted: July 04, 2018

Thirteen hours and thirty seven minutes, and I’m awake, hair plastered to my head from sweat, and my hand is burnin... Read Chapter

Fifteen.

Submitted: July 04, 2018

Twelve, twenty-four, thirty..eight. Forty, no, fifty. Fifty? Thirty-eight plus ten makes forty eight, plus two makes fifty... Read Chapter

Sixteen.

Submitted: July 04, 2018

I keep my eyes closed as I take a freezing cold shower, as I eat twenty-five grams of dry cornflakes and smoke another... Read Chapter

Seventeen.

Submitted: July 07, 2018

Marissa’s legs, sprawled across Luke’s lap.   A secretive smile painting her face.  Luke... Read Chapter

Eighteen.

Submitted: July 07, 2018

Luke, Marissa, Alex, Luke, Marissa, and Alex.   My shoulder burns.  I grab his hand, pulling ... Read Chapter

Nineteen.

Submitted: July 07, 2018

I’m barely even surprised to see Alex, plumes of smoke eerily arising from his frame.   “You’re cryi... Read Chapter

Twenty.

Submitted: July 08, 2018

“Let’s have a party!” I call out, my words stumbling across each other, and there are lines across the table, white lines,... Read Chapter

Twenty One.

Submitted: July 08, 2018

It never ends; it never does, the dreams, will they ever end? Never. They’ll never end, and now I can’t even close my eyes w... Read Chapter

Twenty Two.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

They’re calling for us, calling for Alex, from downstairs;  the host has disappeared into thin air.  We... Read Chapter

Twenty Three.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

Dining room table, glass, ice, layering, and freezing cold feet; I lost my shoes.   His eyes are tearing i... Read Chapter

Twenty Four.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

Champagne bottles, liquid gold, spinning, spinning, onto Marissa, onto Lynn, with secretive smiles, and their lips touch, one, t... Read Chapter

Twenty Five.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

Straddling the fence; it pinches, my second cigarette.   Light tumbles towards me, washes out Alex, and Luke, ... Read Chapter

Twenty Six.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

Somebody is letting Alex mix drinks.  Mistake, big mistake, and my legs dangle off the side, next to him, a... Read Chapter

Twenty Seven.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

Marissa and Petron, on the table; Alex drops me; I don’t fall, just climb up next to her.  Maniacal grin, sof... Read Chapter

Twenty Eight.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

Darkness encloses; splintered by neon, flashing, walls pulsing from the blare, the yells.  My tongue, scraping ... Read Chapter

Twenty Nine.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

“...didn’t get a turn...”  Titanium eyes, fixed to my chest, exposed, arms, either side, boxing me in; the wa... Read Chapter

Thirty.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

“Never have I ever slept with anybody in this room.”  Furtive sip, staring at the ground; Luke’s hazy stare s... Read Chapter

Thirty One.

Submitted: July 20, 2018

“Alexander!”   Alex, and his wide blue eyes, crystalline, and leaping up, limbs humming, hair in disar... Read Chapter

Thirty Two.

Submitted: July 20, 2018

Monday is blue, blue like raging skies, blue like bloated clouds desperate to spill out and saturate the earth.   ... Read Chapter

Thirty Three.

Submitted: July 20, 2018

“Oh, Lyss.”  Luke’s hand is clammy, he grips mine, pulling me into a long hug.   ... Read Chapter

Thirty Four.

Submitted: July 20, 2018

Ninety-nine point eight.   Legs shaking, I kick the scales, imprints scattering my vision, seared in... Read Chapter

Thirty Five.

Submitted: July 20, 2018

Darkness roots the sky; I’m crying as I wake.   My nose courses scarlet, throbs, hands knotting in crisp gra... Read Chapter

Thirty Six.

Submitted: July 20, 2018

I’m gazing at the sky, intensely; I don’t even hear him approach.   “I thought you were dead.” he ... Read Chapter

Thirty Seven.

Submitted: July 20, 2018

“Lyss, can I ask you a question?” Aaron says.   I cease running my fingernails up my useless legs, shoulde... Read Chapter

Thirty Eight.

Submitted: July 22, 2018

I’m seven minutes late to morning form.   Toffee coloured eyes are boring into me; I drift past, u... Read Chapter

Thirty Nine.

Submitted: July 22, 2018

I missed the morning line.  My nose, throwing clots in my sleep, rousing me to tributaries of blood, trying to drow... Read Chapter

Forty.

Submitted: July 22, 2018

“Happy birthday, Marissa.” I mutter, as I walk by.   “Thanks, Lyss. Missed you at lunch.” she say... Read Chapter

Forty One.

Submitted: July 22, 2018

I’m wandering.  Should have been there two hours ago.   Black slip dress; the bystanders ar... Read Chapter

Forty Two.

Submitted: July 23, 2018

Two shots, maybe three shots, three shots of Jager, and the bottle is sparse, empty, drained, dry, and I’m not relatively fuzz... Read Chapter

Forty Three.

Submitted: July 23, 2018

...and it was such a normie party, party, if you can even call it that. And we locked ourselves in the... Read Chapter

Forty Four.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Shuddering hands.   Eight and a half minutes; Alex clutches, I’m not really upright, almost there. ... Read Chapter

Forty Five.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Number one hundred and thirty-four.  Black windows, residence; hurricane Alex, collides.   St... Read Chapter

Forty Six.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Swapping shots, running, always, running.   Alex, yells, drowning out the rushing, crunching, gravel.  ... Read Chapter

Forty Seven.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Bulging bouncer, lingering gaze, short hem, flush cheeks, arms wrapped around Alex; waves passage.  The stairs ... Read Chapter

Forty Eight.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Lyss, what are you doing?”  Alex’s eyes, sparkling.       ... Read Chapter

Forty Nine.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Intensifying, pulsating, bleeding walls.  Climbing, higher, higher, tequila bottle in hand.   ... Read Chapter

Fifty.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Alex’s nose, spurting blood.  23:34 – Luke – lyss, where are you?  23:54 – Maris... Read Chapter

Fifty One.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

Cold brick, pressing, scraping.   Too hot. All too hot, the bar, too hot, hot, the air.   ... Read Chapter

Fifty Two.

Submitted: July 26, 2018

“Who was it?”  I pull the quilt tighter around me, shake my head.   He pushes the crumble... Read Chapter

Fifty Three.

Submitted: July 29, 2018

"You're in high school. Not a fucking rock band. Not fucking guns 'n' roses."  Alex snorts.  ... Read Chapter

Fifty Four.

Submitted: July 29, 2018

It was only for a minute.   The curb collided with my foot.  And I tried to put my hands forw... Read Chapter

Fifty Five.

Submitted: July 29, 2018

Alex passes packet energy, but my lids keep flickering, taking me in and out and in and out of consciousness, and Ross answers t... Read Chapter

Fifty Six.

Submitted: July 29, 2018

"I just need to go to the bathroom."  It's a slur, a drawl, drawn out and soft.  "If you throw tho... Read Chapter

Fifty Seven.

Submitted: July 29, 2018

Razor.   There's a razor in here, somewhere, a razor lying around, shaving razor, there has to be, because thi... Read Chapter

Fifty Eight.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

"Lyss. I swear to god, if you've OD'd in the bathroom..."  Alex's voice, hedged in a grin, and I'm wrapping and wra... Read Chapter

Fifty Nine.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

"Alex? Everything alright?"  Biting fingernails, the scream sticks, muscles tensing and freezing me, freezing me in... Read Chapter

Sixty.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

"I’m not walking past Austin and co with this on my arm.”  Alex rolls his eyes.  “Sure. ... Read Chapter

Sixty One.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

“I still can’t believe you slit your wrists on Austin’s bathroom floor. I mean, seriously, what were you thinking?”... Read Chapter

Sixty Two.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

“Try it. You might like it.”  Alex’s lips; they flicker.   Crystal chunks, glimmering, ... Read Chapter

Sixty Three.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

It starts  With the strobelights.  Sparks of electricity  Climbing up my fuc... Read Chapter

Sixty Four.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

Fear.  Drenching my aura.  The people keep on dancing  Dancing away.   ... Read Chapter

Sixty Five.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

Bitter fingertips  Pushing  Pressure  Pushing  Pressure.  ... Read Chapter

Sixty Six.

Submitted: August 28, 2018

“Get up.”  Watery sunlight, crackling across the neon sky.  Outlined, a distant figure, knotte... Read Chapter

Sixty Seven.

Submitted: August 28, 2018

"Got some shit. I’m warning you now though, it isn’t good quality.”  The pull hisses, metal clinking, and... Read Chapter

Sixty Eight.

Submitted: August 28, 2018

The splits in my lip singe.  Cool grass, pressed against my bare back.  Alex emanating h... Read Chapter