A Suicide Note

Reads: 179  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
no hope left.

Submitted: December 09, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 09, 2010



To Mary,

I know your confused so let me explain. Everyday I am battered by the depression that has been slowly eating away at me. The one that you loved is dead. He is replaced by the man you pitty laying on the floor right now. If I have to go back in my life I would say it started when I was a young kid on the playground. The little, frail, pushover kid I was is an easy target for the eyes of a vicious bully. When you have no friends of your own it is easy to slip into depression. When everyone bullies you it's almost guarenteed. The only place that I was safe was in my mothers arms. My mother, the loving woman she was, would shelter me from all the nightmares of reality. What asshole was he to take her away from me? Does he know how many fucking nights I spent crying? I lost my mother! My one friend!  He fucking took her away! I must of spent my entire life as a 13 year old crying. And the insults! The insults never stopped! I would drag myself to school every fucking day to be bullied. Everyone knew she was dead! And yet they continued! They even dared insult her! My one friend! I remember one boy who was called Tom. He would relentlessly harras me about my mother. Insulting her. Telling me she was in hell because it was God's way of punishing her for having me. Can you believe the nerve of that asshole! I swore I would show him how it felt to lose the ones you love. So late one night I went into his house and I slaughtered everyone one of them! His mother, his father, his sister, his dog, even a friend of his that was sleeping over. But I spared him. He would know what it was like to lose the ones closest to you. Poor Tommy never woke up from his nap. And at school? Everyone pittyed him! That sent me into a blind rage. I lost my mother and I get bullied he loses his family and he gets sorrow? To fucking hell with them all! Stupid police men never caught me and Tom ended up killing himself. I hope he burns in hell. Oh and how can I forget my uncle. When my mother was murdered he came to take care of me. Stupid drunk bastard couldn't stand up right let alone watch a child! He was always drunk at home and when he wasen't at home he was out getting drunk. Sometimes he would come home with a girl. Those were the nights that I wouldn't get fed. He always says he was "busy". I couldn't take this. So I lit a match threw it on the carpet and left. Never even looked back. Sometimes later I remember hearing about it. He made it out with only a few burns. I never intended to hurt him I just wanted to burn my past away. And believe it or not it worked. After that I just went to foster care, found a good home and lived there happily. But it wasen't to last. Slowly, I started hating my foster parents, my house everything. I was so happy when I went off to college. They said that we'll keep in touch. I haven't spoken to them in years. Now I was on my own. I was scared and lonely. My salvation came to me in a job. I got this awesome job. With the money, I got an apartment. I loved my job and obsessed over my apartment. But slowly I started feeling the withdraws again. Soon I cared about nothing. My job that I loved so deeply and my apartment that I used to obsess over started to slowly become less important to me. Soon I found myself laying in bed trying to think of reasons to get up. Than I met you. You showed me a happiness and joy I never knew before. You love me so much. Just like my mother. But I'm starting to feel me withdrawing again. Your becoming less important with every passing day. You love me so much I don't want to break your heart. But I can't help it. And what about me? Am I to go through life loving something deeply than abandoning it just as my mother abandoned me? I would rather burn in hell! Good bye dear Mary. Just know I'm not leaving you I'm leaving my life. Stay strong soon this will all seem like a bad dream.


© Copyright 2019 Lorecraft. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:




More Young Adult Short Stories