Isn't today a Beautiful day to die?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
It's the story of a girl who doesn't realize she's dead and she keeps reliving every moment before she died. Her sister is the only one who can talk to her.

Submitted: April 09, 2013

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Submitted: April 09, 2013

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I can’t take it anymore! The voices in my head won’t leave me alone. I’m trying to block them out with music and other thoughts but it’s not helping at all I can still here in the back of my mind the voice asking, “Isn’t today a beautiful day to die?” I don’t want to die not really but the voices won’t leave me alone, I’m thinking that death may be the only way to make the voices stop.

I hide my head in pillows and under covers I’m in my room but it doesn’t help and being around other people makes the voices yell inside my head. I wish I wasn’t crazy but being alone has made the voices come and haunt me in my dreams. I used to be normal I used to have friends but then one night the voices came and at first they were helpful they told me when my friends betrayed me and abandoned me. I was left completely alone and then one day they started asking if I wanted to die since it seemed nobody cared, nobody wanted me.

 I have lived with the voices for a little over a year and for a while they said I should just hurt those who hurt me. I almost shot up the high school before chickening out of course that day I also tried to swallow a bunch of pills. That didn’t work out to well because I was found and saved. The voices told me to act normal so I could get free of the watchful eyes of the doctors and nurses. I guess I’ve been a disappointment for my parents because they won’t speak to me at all only my older sister talks to me.

“Kendra, what’s so bad about me that our parents hate me?” she sighs I’ve finally decided that may be she could help me, so I walked down the hall towards her room. I’ve always loved her because she has kept all my secrets and she knows about the voices and how badly they torment me.

“You really don’t understand at all do you?” she sighs again. “You really need to give up they still love you but you need to understand that your gone and you always will be.” I don’t want to listen to her hurtful words yet the voices keep repeating them again in my mind making me scream and breakdown. I fall on her floor and I curl up and I wish so desperately for death to come over and take away my soul for relief just once. I silently cry staring my sister’s feet wondering why I can’t be more like her.

“Kendra, please make the voices stop they won’t leave me alone. I can’t take it anymore I want to die.” she looks down at me and sadly smiles. Her smile always made me happy when I was upset except I can tell there’s something wrong this time. Something really wrong and I can tell she doesn’t want to think about it at all.

“You can’t break what’s already broken. Melissa. Please look at me.” She quietly commands. “Melissa, you’re dead only I can see you and every time you come here asking why our parents hate you when they always loved you makes it so hard for me. I love but your dead you must go in peace its killing me to know your still suffering.” The tears fall from her dark blue eyes and I don’t want to believe that I’m really dead.

“Kendra I’m not dead I’m talking to you right now.” She looks very upset now and I realize she’s telling the truth, but, it really hurts her to have to repeat it every time I come here she just wants to remember the good times not the painful ones. I get up from her floor and I start walking away, “Melissa where are you going?”

 She asks I turn to face her, “I’m going away I don’t want to hurt you I can see it in your eyes.” I turn back and there’s a bright light in her doorway and I hear another voice it’s just too far away for me to understand. I go towards the light that only I can see when I hear the booming voice and I wake up screaming hearing the voices again. It was only a dream I say but when I get up and go down stairs I see what looks like a wake for the dead. “Who died?” I ask my sister when I stand next to her.  

She looks at me and quietly says, “you died.” I then find myself, reliving every past moment I lived before I died over and over again inside my own head. That’s, when I realize I really am in hell still stuck with the voices in my head asking over and over again, “Isn’t it such a beautiful day to die?”


© Copyright 2018 lost love long forgotten. All rights reserved.

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