The sound of a Trembling Heart

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a short story for LakinWooliver’s contest.

Submitted: December 05, 2013

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Submitted: December 05, 2013

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I was walking down the street it was a snowy wintery day the ground was covered in snow and it was while I was walking down that cold street that I felt something buried under the snow that shouldn’t be there. At first I didn’t know what to expect but, as I bent over to pick whatever it was up and felt the book in my hand I knew it was hers. I picked up her book it had black leather on the front and back cover and as I stared at that book it all began again. The memories swirled around leading to the last place I saw her. Her body was swinging back and forth in the cold snowy day she had lost her book with all her secrets and memories from another life but, it was back now.

I knew it was hers because her name was scrawled across the front in silver sharpie Acantha. It meant thorn. She wasn’t a thorn but, a person that I cared about because we both shared the same depression we both fought wars inside our head that led us to harm ourselves. The depression led her to hang herself from a giant tree. Her book was her diary it was her way of staying sane. I sit on a snow covered bench as I open it afraid of what I might see.

How did it all come to this? This war inside my head is making me crazy and because of this war I have used many broken bloody bottles to write lines across my wrists every night. The next day I would wish away the scars so no one could see but, no one would look too hard so I stopped wishing them away and started wishing for someone to hear my screams of silence. I was young when I saw my life crumble in my hands.

I soon got tired of trying and raised a glass to my last stand. I did not understand the questions that came from my lips while I struggle to stand looking for someone, anyone to help me. Then I met him. Zephyr. We were the same we were scared to let the world in but, we needed the help to stay sane. I wanted to believe I could win the war in my head but, I didn’t understand that I would lose no matter what. I tried to rise from the ground instead I only collapse again. The war forcing me to write another line with a broken bottle.

I have never understood the sound of my trembling heart as I have done the sad last stand of a broken woman. I see people look but, they don’t hear my heart trembling with fear of everything nor did they understand the sound of me falling to the ground on my knees. It’s all gone empty inside and I don’t think I want to be alive anymore.

Me. She was talking about meeting me and how we were the same and she was right. The only difference was I was still breathing but, she wasn’t. Her life was gone like she had never existed except she had existed in my life.

I remember finding her swinging from the tree her eyes life less. Back and forth she swung no longer herself no longer in her body fighting and hoping and wishing she was gone. There was no note on her body or near the tree but, I know that I have finally found it. I remember that the last night I saw her alive we were raising glasses to each other then she disappeared. My life was slowly crumbling in my hand and without her I had no real reason to be alive on this earth. I feel tears slip down my face the salty tears are little questions that pour out, questions I don’t have the answer too.

I see her limp body swing back and forth again and again in my mind and I know that I can’t change what happened to her even though I wish I could change the hands of time. I remember her arms were uncovered showing each slice she made her whole life. Her scars we free for the world to see as if she was saying “look at what you did to me”. I was the only one who cared and who found her swinging but, it was too late.

Soon the screaming of my demons as well as hers fill my head her last words filling my head. I soon find that making my wrists bleed doesn’t stop the screaming in my head it instead only intensifies driving me madder and madder. I wander up and down streets holding my head in my hands covering my ears trying to make the screaming stop. I end up at the tree her tree and without thinking begin climbing to the rope that still hangs there. No one cut her rope down no one even noticed when she disappeared but, I did. My trembling heart fills my ears as I tie the rope around my neck, close my eyes and let go. I left her book on the snow covered bench that I had been sitting on reading her words. As I fall and feel my neck break I see her swinging next to me as the black ravens sing on that snowy day.


© Copyright 2019 lost love long forgotten. All rights reserved.

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