surviving

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
my life

Submitted: April 08, 2011

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Submitted: April 08, 2011

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every day is a struggle, everyday is a battle, every day i survive life. I often wonder the big question weather do i belong? or why do i exist? life has a funny way sometimes shoving us into complete darkness leaving us to our own demise. this is about my little life and the struggle i go through every day. I was born into a family of a mother a father and two sisters. like most boys i was a runaround a tear away when i was younger. around the age of 6 my father left us to be with another woman as in he didnt want our family anymore. Around the age of 9 i was abused by my bigger sister but the family want to forget that whole ordeal. at the age of 16 i left school to join the british army thought i would make em proud of me. apon entering the army i met a guy who was to become my best friend someone i could talk to you know one of those people you cant do without. when i was 18 almost 19 we got sent out to iraq together only to find that this is where our friendship ends craig dies there in iraq 2003 by a road side bomb there was nothing left of his vehicle and every day i live with that. thinking it should have been me i should have been the one to go if only i had went first. When i was sent out to afghanistan in 2006 i started having a relaps and thats when i started with the nightmares and the depression and with that came the self harm. when i returned to germany our base at the time i signed off basically quit the army and returned home to scotland. this is where i feel i either change or i die its one or the other i need something i dont know what it is to change my way but i need it. i have gone through so many psychiatrists at psychologists and all sorts of medications all pills to make me happier and nothing works i always back in this same hole. Well i came back from the army in 2007 and its now 2011 so im surviving i fell this is no way for a 26 year old to be living so if anyone who reads this thinks they might know some thing that can help pleas let me know. as for the whole religious thing iv been there and done it my mother is a huge Christian and i lost the faith a long time ago.


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