The Girl I Wanted To Be

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I'll spare you a summary. I believe the poem speaks for itself.

Once I thought I was pretty, then I looked in the mirror, and saw that I wasn’t looking at me, but the girl I wanted to be.
I never became her.

I remember there was one time where I thought my voice was nice, and then I remembered that I sang with someone else.

Someone once asked me if I had lost weight, and it was the best day I’d had in months. A week later I gained it back and nobody has commented on it since.

Someone once liked me, and I was very happy about that for many months, until it occurred to me, that the only one who’d ever shown any interest in me, had to be drunk to do it.

I didn’t think about it for a long time after that until it happened again, with another guy, and I was just as happy until I realised that he was even drunker than the previous guy.

I felt bad about that for a little longer, then my brother said it was all a joke and I went to my room and thought about the girl I wanted to be.

What hurt the most was not the fact that they had to be drunk to like me, but that I didn’t have to be to like them.
I haven’t really thought about anything else since I realised that.

I still see the girl I wanted to be but she’s no longer in mirrors, or in my head, she’s all around me. And everywhere I look and everywhere I go she’s right there, staring in my face, and doesn’t know that I’ve wept and sung and written about her,
and how I never became her; I just met her.


Submitted: September 29, 2013

© Copyright 2022 Louise Rose. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

bismoy

very very touching!!

Sun, September 29th, 2013 6:12pm

Author
Reply

Wow, thank you so much!

Sun, September 29th, 2013 11:15am

nabbie

this is indeed good!

Sun, September 29th, 2013 6:31pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, your comment is much appreciated!

Sun, September 29th, 2013 11:41am

artie1947

there is nothing in this world to stop you being the girl you want to be, only you can stop it, wonderful piece though.

Mon, September 30th, 2013 11:36am

Author
Reply

Thank you. There are a lot of open wounds of mine written into this poem, the funny thing is that all of them can only be healed by the same person who wrote the words, myself. One of the many ironic things about over thinking.

Mon, September 30th, 2013 7:18am

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