i equal paper. comparison essay

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
alright i need feed back yo... i think the intro and conclusion are pretty well made. but for sure i need new body paragraphs. any idea how i can display (ideas, image, and shape) in that order more clearly?

i tried to compare myself to a paper and its ability to become creative.... so if you didnt understand that i obviously failed in this comparison

yeah i know im not very strong in expository writing.....

Submitted: February 10, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 10, 2010

A A A

A A A


Time is spent and wasted thinking, pondering a most ridiculous question: \"who am i\"? The timeless inquiry is trivial is it not? We spend our short life soul searching for adjectives to describe ourselves even though we live in our own shoes every day of existence. I am a victim of this, trying to be witty with my comparisons instead of something viewed as typical. Instantly an image of a Salmon appears in my head, fighting the river to be different, but this is what everyone has come to do as well. So now the great Salmon Run is clear, and my eyes are open. Grizzly Bears and fishermen litter the river banks; hooks and claws are ready to capture and distract me from my goal. This fate is not for me; with the flick of a fin the rushing water pushing back to the ocean double-time. The salt water strikes my gills as a rush of opened mindedness over flow my sensation of sight, an ocean of life and ideas in front of me. So many ideas are acceptable and efficient, but i look down at the paper that holds my words and thoughts. The doodle in the corner that sadly has captured my creativity, and i realize how this has become me.

Look at the words, painting a sky of stars on this paper, recording the thoughts of humans throughout the ages of history. Spelling out human life in string of emotions and philosophies that only thickens as our written history progresses. The question of \"who am i\", however, becomes more abstract due to the many opinions of pens scribing on paper. So many ideas flood the paper, trying to fill the dark void of emptiness... that of self awareness. We write down a poem of our current love interest in order to understand the feelings bombarding our emotions. On this paper there is an infinite quest to understanding, and on my mind is the primordial drive to learn.

Intricate twists and an open mind exhibits a delineation of my self. Carved and delicate swoops of the pen, permanent and precise. Until we know where we have been, we do not know where we are. Cartographers understand this and take this to heart. Detailed maps of subconscious thought border my conscious ideas. Answers are littered across the entire paper but a question like \"who am i?\" deserves something better then these two-dimensions: an image with my words as a length, and my drawings as a width.

Quick folds and creases add a final personalization to this paper. Origami, an art of paper that allows a concrete piece of work become abstract and almost out of reach. Watch a swan fly away with my words and maps. Perhaps a small boat to float down a river like a message in a bottle. Sure you can have those but what about the most common, a book? These shapes add our depth, our third dimension of existence.

Paper is absolutely simple and typical, but once in the hands of thinking person, one with words, ideas, and a drive to learn, a creative process proceeds. A process that begins as ideas that are simple like the question of who we are. Then transforms with images that support and build the concept like the salmon fighting up river to achieve their goal. Finally adding shape, becoming complete with a breath of life like the fish who decided not to conform and instead found an ocean full of fresh ideas. Inside a single paper lies a world full of unprecedented creativity, and I? The one who writes... believes he his this paper.

alright i need feed back yo... i think the intro and conclusion are pretty well made. but for sure i need new body paragraphs. any idea how i can display (ideas, image, and shape) in that order more clearly?


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