My confessions-Journal excerpts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
These are something I've written in my journal and dont worry you dont have to read about crushes or things like that, but these things are like worries and stuff.

Submitted: April 09, 2011

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Submitted: April 09, 2011

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September 3, 2010

Dear Journal,

I wish somebody can save me from this restlessness. I'm tired, but I can't close my eyes. I don't know wether

it's because I'm afraid of closing my eyes or something else. Lately I've been feeling off I feel like someone is

watching me. I don't know who it is or what they want, but I don't know if I should be scared or not. Should I go to

the police or tell my parents? No. They would think I was insane. I feel like I'm in a horrible sitcom that nobody

watches. The weird part is I thought I saw them, but when I went to see nothing was there. It's like the person

was a phantom. I'm going to bed now hopefully I can get some rest.

XOXO

Loveplushateequalsfun (Dont want to use my name so im using my username)

October 21st, 2010

Dear Journal,

It takes a lot for you to gain my trust, but a lot more to gain my respect. Just because I say I hate you

doesn't make it true its means I'm fighting with myself internally. Just because we hang out doesn't

mean we're automatically friends. I'm constantly judgeing and testing to make sure you are worthy to

be my friend. I've been hurt, backstabbed, broken too many times and I'm done fighting for something

that isn't even real. This is the truth about me. Call me a bitch all you like, but unlike you I stand my ground

and fight for people I love and care about.

XOXO

Loveplushateequalsfun

March 2nd, 2011

Dear Journal,

I'm tired of the lies, the heart breaks, and people generally letting me down.

I'm tired of my friends never being around when I need them.

I hate how I have to wear a fake smile every day and not once has anyone asked if I was okay.

I'm so tired being a girl that is left alone constantly, who is hurt constantly, who cries in her room, and

who has sliced her own skin just to feel something other than being numb.

I hate how I'm constantly reminded of the mistakes I've made. I know I've made mistakes, but I learned from them

I grew up alot more than you even realize. You don't know about the boy I'm so deeply in love with because I can't

tell you for fear you will take him away like you did my first boyfriend. I'm not letting him go and if I have to run away god

knows I will. God knows how much I love him and how much time I would spare just to be with him. Julian is amazing

he makes me happy and I've never felt the way I do now then I have with any other guy I've dated. Just hearing his name

makes my heart skip a beat and the butterflies in my stomache are going crazy. He has put the light back into my life. He is

my silver lining. I know it sounds cheesy, but he is truely amazing and I do see myself having a future with him. Well I got to go

until next time.

XOXO

Loveplushateequalsfun

July 3rd,2011

Dear Journal, Well, I'm back with Josh. Something I never thought would happen in a million years. He's amazing, just so sweet, strong, and passionate especially about his family. We broke up on good terms didnt talk to him in a year though which i feel extremely guilty about. And if you are wondering about Julian we broke up because of the "distance" which im still not sure why it bothers him now but whatever he's up in Colorado banging some guy's girlfriend. Now Im going to admit I love the dude and I turned out to be one of those bitchy ass ex girlfriends. I dont love him anymore well I love him but not in the same way. Haha Josh would probably be pissed if I said I was still in love with my ex. He's not the overly jealous type thank god, but I do love watching him squirm a bit. Josh is a sweet heart though Im not going to say we dont like a bit of danger. I love Josh I've always had he was my 1st boyfriend and my first love. I never have gotten over him though Ive never met a girl who has ever gotten over her first love. Suprisingly we both still had feelings for eachother. I buried that love I had for him so deep in my heart that i have to admit i almost forgot him but when he came back into my life all the feelings resurfaced in the matter of seconds. Josh is one guy I cant forget no matter how hard I try. He's my partner in crime as well as my teddy bear. I know he will always be there to protect me.

XOXO

Loveplushateequalsfun

June 29, 2012

Dear Journal,

Its been awhile...I have a new boyfriend named Brian or a.k.a Bear. This is him ---------> althe is actually very sweet and kind. And I love him with all my heart. I know I've said that alot. To tell you the truth everyboyfriend I had I would always dream of them breaking up with me or cheating on me or leaving some way, but I never felt that way with Brian. He never gave me a reason to doubt him. He always makes me smile and laugh even if I had the most horrible day. He always tells me he loves me. We spend most of the day just talking to eachother and I love it. I always feel like im too clingy, but he loves talking to me just as much as I love talking to him. He never makes me feel horrible about myself. We haven't even gotten into a fight yet and I mean a real fight not playful bantering. I don't know if we'll be together forever, but I hope we are if not as a couple atleast as friends, because he's one of my best friends in the world and he means everything to me. I'm not afraid of breaking up like anyother guy im with, but i am afraid of losing him.


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