I've gotten so good at holding it all in, keeping it all together, that I can't let go anymore. And I need to let it out. My chest swells and tightens, my heart races and pounds so loud it's all I can hear. My fists clench and I'm overwhelmed with the need to break something, someone, anything. But I don't. I wrestle it, swallow it down. It doesn't go away, it lingers like a shadow, never gonna shake it. Time after time I've buried these feelings, but repeating this makes it feel so heavy, it makes me tired. It makes me want to cry, to feel relief. But I don't know how anymore. I'm scared of what this will become, enveloping me. I want to drop to my knees and cry like a child, sobbing and howling without restraint. Until this weight is lifted, I want you to hold me until its over, I want to open up to you and tell you everything. I want you........ to want me this much too
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