Fragments of a former life

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
It's not in human nature to walk away from pleasure. Addiction can happen to anyone. This is about that process.

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Submitted: July 30, 2012

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Submitted: July 30, 2012

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Experienced a great feeling today,
one I've never felt.
Twenty years of being down,
until joy and bliss were dealt.
 
I know that I've been waiting,
but I never knew what for.
only today did it start knocking,
was addiction at my door.
At first I didn't know,
what it was or what it would bring.
With a first impression as good as this,
I only thought one thing.
 
 
To me this seems unreal,
this great feeling can't be true.
If it's a dream please let me sleep,
I'd like to stay here without a clue.
Because in this place I feel as a god,
impervious, rebuilt, new.
Mind's made up, I believe I'll stay,
this reward I'll agree is due.
 
Wait,
I've been using a few months now,
should I exert control?
I lie to myself to allow this posion
to fester, take its toll.
Because in the end I don't want it to stop.
I was broken yet now am new.
I'll enjoy this feeling, ignore the signs, like I said;
without a clue...
without a clue....
without a clue.....
 
Without a clue was how it stayed
for a very brief two years.
At the expense of health and who I was
and all that I held dear.
The things I've done to those "I LOVE"
the lies, the pain, the tears.
To never be the one I was,
is now my greatest fear.
 
For now I have to learn to love life again,
love myself.
It's hard to think that what I've done
can be forgiven, forgot, replaced.
However it is, and it is a key,
to rebuild the life that I've disgraced.
 
I have fragments of a former life, that I long to say is mine again.
I accept who I am,
and let go what I've done.
I finally see, now let's begin.


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