A lovers tale

Reads: 365  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic

this poem was written in 5 minutes. about a couple so in love and that love ripped away from them in a blink of an eye. enjoy.

Hand in hand they walk together on there way to the store,

love in both there eyes for one another.

he takes her hand and spins her around,

she laughs and her eyes light up with with happyness.

the giggles pour out of both of them, he pulls her close and cups her face,

says the three words of " i love you", pulls back a strand of hair from her face,

and kisses her gently. they break apart gleaming and full of joy, and love.

they walk into the store to buy some groceries for there new home they have.

a man near the back of the store is pacing ever so slightly,

back and forth back and forth, clutching his head.

they pay the man no notice. little do they know he just escaped from a mental hospital.

they grab some things and stand in line.

she kisses her bfs nose, and he tickles her.

he tells his gf he has something to ask of her, gets down on one knee 

she starts to to cry full of joy and happiness, he asks her to marry him.

she says yes as he puts the new diamond ring on her ring finger.

she crys her tears of joy as he clutches her in his arms exstatic.

someone behind them says congratulations, the girl turns around to say thank you,

and suddenly blackness, numbness, fear.

the man they had paid little attention to in the back of the store shot her right in the head,

full of anger and blindness no reason at all.

shes on the floor now blood pouring out, her fiance is down on his knees tears pouring his face.

blood on his hands her blood, he crumples upto her holding whats left of his entire world and joy.

realizing shes gone, a bullet to the head, no reason what so ever.

so he sits there as people scream, and cry as that one man that took his new fiance and love,

picks up his glory of what he has just done and walks out not understanding anything andleaving the screams behind him.

she is nothing now dead and gone, what was once a precious jewel is forever cold.

cops surround her body sirrans explode, and as the rest of her blood flows lifelessly out of her head,

her beloved fiance cries his ever lasting cries of pain sorrow and grief.



By: crystal bielby.



Submitted: April 01, 2012

© Copyright 2022 lucki. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:



Tough...very tough. A word of advice though, try to put a rhythmic conclusion in endings, and the words are good, but they can be better, my recommendation, read a lot of poems or novels, it really helps. Overall, your ideas are touching, and your taste in poems are ecstatic. Keep on writing, and good luck ;)

Sun, April 1st, 2012 8:28am


thank you i appreciate your criticisim. i think my problem is i love to explain stuff to much. and yes i will do that most definately. :) ty very much

Sun, April 1st, 2012 7:00pm

Facebook Comments

More Mystery and Crime Poems

Other Content by lucki

Poem / Mystery and Crime

Poem / Other